RUBY
Ember and I spent Saturday in our pajamas. Mom and Dad are at a friend's house, so we took the opportunity to take over the kitchen and bake some chocolate cookies. We were just making sure the mixing bowl was truly empty when someone knocked on the door.
We both jumped and looked at each other. Then, I quickly touched the tip of my nose and said, 'Lucky for me!' Ember sighed in torment, realizing her defeat, and hurried down the hallway. Shortly after, I heard an energetic voice that I recognized well. 'Hello, are you Ember? I'm Lin. Where's your sister? I need to talk to her urgently!' In the blink of an eye, Lin stood before me, handing me her phone. 'Don't tell me you're her.' For a moment, I could only stare at her. It was the first time Lin had come to my house.
Until now, she had picked me up a couple of times and always waited in the car on the street. Her presence should make me nervous, after all, she goes to Maxton Hall, and that's a part of my life I want to keep away from my family at all costs. But the more I see her in the kitchen, the clearer it becomes that it's quite the opposite. The recent fight we had showed me that we're not just school friends; maybe we could be much more. Perhaps it's time for me to dare to open up a little more.
With deliberate intent, I once again put the spatula in my mouth to avoid answering. Unimpressed, Lin takes a couple of steps closer until she's right in front of me, holding her phone up to my face. I have to lean back to make out anything in the dark image.
The photo shows James from behind, carrying a person tightly in his arms, their face buried in his neck. It's impossible to recognize that the person is me, but despite that, I blush. I wonder how many more images of that moment exist. And if everyone has seen them.
'Ruby?' Lin asks; suddenly her tone is less forceful. 'What happened yesterday?'
'I was at Cyril's party,' I reply. 'I've already told you.'
'Yes, you have. But I want to know what happened here.'
'What happened where?' Ember asks, taking the phone from Lin's hand. She gapes at the photo. 'Is this really you?'
'Yes,' I admit, swallowing hard.
Spending today with Ember was supposed to distract me. I didn't want to think about the previous night and wanted to stop overthinking it. What happened yesterday... I don't even know what happened. I can't manage to put it into words.
'Tell us what happened yesterday- RN,' my sister demands, her tone clearly inherited from our mother- no room for argument.
I lean toward the oven to check on the cookies. Unfortunately, they're not ready yet, and I can't escape the inquisitive gazes of Lin and Ember. I sigh softly, leave the spatula in the bowl, and gesture toward the dining room. Once we're seated, I begin to recount what happened.
At the end of the narration, the two of them look at me with completely different expressions. Lin's expression is mostly skeptical. Ember, on the other hand, rests her chin on her hand and smiles dreamily.
"That Beaufort seems really nice," she sighs.
"He's not!" Lin objects incredulously. "The guy you just talked about couldn't possibly have been James Beaufort in any way."
I shrug. In hindsight, it's inconceivable to me that he protected me in front of his friends, but he did. And even more- he took care of me. He dressed me and behaved like a true gentleman. He held my hand while I told him about Dad.
Our relationship has changed after that last night. I can feel it. A tingling sensation runs through my entire body when I think about his gaze and how his fingers caressed my bare skin. How the warmth briefly shook my body, and James thought I was trembling from the cold, but it was quite the opposite. It was the way he touched me, as if I were delicate and fragile glass.
"This is exactly what I meant when I told you to be cautious," Lin says, shaking her head and bringing me back to the present.
"I know," I murmur. And I wish I could forget what I felt when I sank into the water.
"I can't believe Cyril would do something like that," she continues. "When I see him, I'll twist his neck."
She looks so distressed and disappointed that I wonder for the umpteenth time if Cyril is more than just a schoolmate to her. If there is or isn't a story between them- If there is, I want to know what happened. Until now, she's always closed up when we've talked about her love life. Maybe this is the right moment to try again- after all, I've just opened up to her.
But Ember interrupts my thoughts with her words- "You're lucky that James was there." Her eyes seem about to turn into little red hearts. "I can't believe he actually carried you out of the party. In his arms, that too!"
Neither can I. Especially when I think about how cold and arrogant he was with me initially.
The truth is, I can't reconcile that version of him with the James who wrapped me in towels yesterday and stroked my back until I stopped trembling. That James who stirs chaos in my mind and invaded my dreams last night, where his warm hands rested on my bare skin.
This isn't going well. Not at all. Not at all.
"If I didn't have the photo as proof, I wouldn't believe it", Lin says, looking at the image again. "How can a guy who's constantly causing trouble suddenly behave like a knight in shining armor?"
"Apparently, he realized that Cyril had crossed a line with Ruby, and that's why he intervened. This shows he's a good guy", Ember concludes. She looks at me, and suddenly something changes in her expression. Oh, oh.
Uh oh.
"What?" Lin asks, lifting her head. When her gaze lands on me, she exclaims, "Ruby?"
It's evident that my emotional turmoil is written all over my face.
"I don't know either, okay?" I say, "Deep down, I can't stand him, but…" I pause and shrug helplessly.
For a moment, it seems like Ember is about to say something, but then she abruptly stands up.
"Let's check on the cookies."
The three of us head to the kitchen, where a delicious aroma fills the air. While Ember and I take the cookies out of the oven, Lin arranges them symmetrically on a tray. As we move to the living room, she suddenly nudges me in the side.
"It's okay to be attracted to someone who's actually considered foolish."
I wish I could ask her if she's speaking from personal experience. But when it comes to her love life, Lin is so discreet that I don't dare interrogate her.
"You think so?"
She nods. My thoughts automatically return to James. I feel a tingle right where his hand touched me; when I remember how he undressed in front of me, I feel a warmth in my belly.
"And yet, I still can't quite believe it. It had to be Beaufort. The damn king of the school" Lin mutters, collapsing onto the couch.
"I don't know how it happened either," I reply, grabbing a cookie; it's still too hot, but I take a huge bite to avoid talking more.
"If he really took care of you that well, I'm okay with it; I approve of him," Ember chimes in, devouring a cookie herself, then crossing her legs on the low table. "What are you going to do now? Have you talked since yesterday?"
I shake my head. "I just wanted to chill with my sister today."
Ember springs up like a jack-in-the-box.
"You have to call him."
Shaking my head, I glance alternately at Lin and Ember.
"Girls, it's fine. We're just... friends."
It sounds strange to label James as a 'friend,' but I can't think of anything better at the moment.
"That's clear. Text him," Lin encourages me now too, and with a sigh, I pull my phone out of my pant's pocket.
I ponder for a few seconds about what I'm going to write and decide on the obvious.
Hey there, thank you for yesterday. R.J.B
Ember asks, "What did you write to him?"
"I just thanked him," I reply.
Lin wrinkles her nose and takes a cookie too. She divides it into four pieces and eats one. Lin rarely indulges in anything sweet. She's strict about her diet, almost as if she forbids anything delicious. I've always thought it's a shame, but so far, haven't managed to convince her how life with chocolate is much more fun.
My phone vibrates, and I resist the urge to pounce on it. Wouldn't want Lin and Ember to witness my eagerness. Fortunately, neither of them can hear the force with which my heart is pounding as I turn on the screen and read the message.
You've never told me what the 'J.' in R. J. B. stands for. J. M. B.
I reply instantly:
Guess. R. J. B.
'James'. J. M. B.
A rather egocentric response, don't you think?
Jenna. J. M. B.
Nope.
Jemima? J. M. B.
Wow, I'm quite impressed- you guessed it in just three tries.
For a while, he doesn't say anything more. I stare at the dark screen, aware that Ember and Lin are watching me expectantly. But I don't even know what I'? waiting for until my phone vibrates again after a couple of minutes.
Are you feeling better now?
No initials. No jokes. My throat suddenly feels dry. I don't want to remember yesterday, nor do I want to think about water or the fact that I made a fool of myself in front of all those classmates of mine, acting completely hysterical. But above all, I don't want to think about Monday and what might be coming my way. I'm afraid of Monday.
There are pictures of us.
Lin and Ember have started talking about something unrelated to James or yesterday's party, and Ember turns on the TV. She takes a DVD from the cabinet and puts it on. I appreciate that they're respecting my privacy, especially when I read James's next message:
Don't worry. In the photo, only my wet back can be seen.
I hold my breath. Should I take the message literally, or is it an indirect way of flirting? I have no idea. I just know that I want an equal relationship with him.
Well, then- at least I can be content with the photo.
I have to wait a while for his response. So long that I regret the words I've written. We're halfway through the movie when my phone vibrates again.
Ruby Bell, are you flirting with me?
A smile spreads across my lips- I hide it in the collar of my pajama shirt. Then I turn off my phone and try focusing on the movie with all I can.