(A/N: Song of the Day: Int'l Players Anthem by UGK, Outcast
Happy Fourth of July, everyone! On this day, we celebrate and remember the sacrifice of Russell Casse, who saved Earth from annihilation by aliens. #NeverForget.
Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go get red, white, and blasted, and go spangle my stars.
Also, USA is beating Mexico in the Gold Cup final.)
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"Hey, Artoria, I don't want to say anything, but-"
"Rimuru, if you say, 'I told you so,' I'm going to put my foot so far up your ass, you'll be spitting toenails."
Rimuru instantly shut up, ceasing to say anything further on his mind. To be honest, he should have really read the atmosphere better than to try to say something witty. They were days away, at best, from a full-scale war.
Everything was in a rush, but not in disorder. Normally, there would be a meeting, but many people were busy getting prepared and making any last-minute adjustments to their plan. Artoria got the Ehangwen ready for action, the massive ship floating in the air.
"You know, I still thought there would be something like battleship turrets on it," Rimuru expressed as he looked at the ship in the air. For him, the lack of something that looked like weaponry, at least to him, felt lacking.
Artoria looked at the Ehangwen and looked at it from Rimuru's perspective. She knew what this could do, but the visual and aesthetic appeal was lacking. It looked awesome and beautiful, but nothing that would look intimidating; just its size. "You're right, and it would look very cool as well. I'll just change it. I know the perfect class of battleship guns to add. It's going to be intimidating."
"I know too!" Rimuru exclaimed, also thinking of what guns from a battleship could go on it.
"Great minds think alike, Rimuru."
"Iowa-class. Yamato-class," they both exclaimed at the same time, a bit of pride in their voices, as if their answer was the most obvious.
.
.
.
Artoria and Rimuru looked at each other, just taking in their different answers. Artoria was the first to speak up.
"You're just plain wrong, Rimuru. Like, objectively wrong. Argue with a wall."
Rimuru tried to argue back at Artoria's statement, but was immediately shut down. "What? I'm not wrong! The Yamato is-"
"A hotel? A coral reef?" Artoria countered instantly without any mercy.
"Uh…wait, hold on! Let me try to speak! Wait, you know about the hotel thing?"
"You know about the USS Missouri on September 2, 1945?"
"Uh…"
"Alright, enough said. There's no time to talk about things like this. It's my ship, and I'll make whatever changes I want."
Artoria held out her hand, and with a white glow, the entire ship started to change "slightly". Large battleship guns appeared on both sides. Artoria smiled. "Oh yeah, now this is something cool. This might as well be a gunship."
"I'd hate to be on the other side of that thing." Rimuru marveled at the guns. Seeing something of this size in person is very different than seeing photos on the internet. He felt small.
"Yup, I'll have to tilt it, when firing at the ground."
"Why?"
"Well, first of all, so I can actually hit something, and second of all, because every shot of those guns will physically move the ship and throw off the aim of other shots when fired simultaneously or at once."
"What?"
"I'm talking about a gunship, not a battleship. It's a common misconception that guns on a battleship can move the ship when fired, but it doesn't. A gunship, on the other hand? Oh yeah, now that will move it laterally and require course corrections in flight when all guns are firing simultaneously."
"You seem to know a bit about that. Are you sure you weren't in the military or something?"
"No, I wasn't in the military, and this is also common knowledge that everyone knows. I could go into more detail, but it's not necessary."
"You can go into detail? How do you know all this stuff?"
"Well, you see, Rimuru, when I was a child, I thought the coolest things in the world were rodeos, guns, national parks, military aircraft, and history."
"And now?"
Artoria looked at Rimuru in confusion, not knowing what he meant. It took her a second, but then she realized what he meant. "What? No, I still think those are the coolest things in the world."
"Oh, it's just that, the way you said it, I thought you changed your mind as you grew up or something."
"What? Why would I change my mind? You've seen aspects of that in this empire. We had a rodeo during my wedding festival, we have guns, I established national parks in this empire, there's a gunship in front of us, and I've told you many things from history."
"Oh, yeah, I don't know how I didn't catch that."
"Whatever. Anyway, we're about to show the Eastern Empire the importance of air superiority."
Artoria jumped onto the ship, and it immediately started moving towards the east. For something so big, it moved with uncanny speed not fit for its size. The reason? Magic, of course.
Rimuru, seeing that she took off without him, immediately flew up to catch up to it. He landed on the deck, and the sight he saw did not fit the situation. He saw Artoria seated, drinking a cocktail while sitting on a lounge chair as if she were sunbathing. Next to her was a small table that had a bottle of whiskey and a glass with an ice ball in it.
It was a little concerning that the bottle was almost half empty.
"Uh, what are you doing?"
"Getting this ship into position to fight."
"But you're relaxing as if this was a cruise ship or something."
"Cause it kind of is. Don't you see how fancy and decorated the deck is? There's even a bar."
He looked around, and she was right. Everything was very clean, luxurious, and shiny. He felt like he was on a private yacht.
"Should you be drinking at this moment?"
"Relax. What, you think I'm going to go on some rant about the federal government or something? I'm not going to get political," Artoria reassured Rimuru as she drank another glass of whiskey.
"You know, I'm not going to question it. So, this will just be stationed?" Rimuru asked as he looked at the ground from so high up. Everything looked small, obviously, but he could see the layout of everything below. A perfect birds-eye view. This would make issuing orders so much easier and faster.
"It'll go around in a pylon turn while it shoots. Basically, go around in a giant circle on the battlefield."
"Okay, so do we have to worry about something trying to shoot us down?"
"Nope. I'm going to put up a barrier around it. Nothing can enter, but things can exit. Unless an attack can go up to the sixth dimension, we don't have to worry about it. And of the only two, maybe three, people I think can do that, one is dead, the other is our ally, and one I've never met, but I know."
"Uh…o…kay."
"So, is there anyone we have to worry about?"
Artoria drank another glass of whiskey before responding to him, "Veldora's sister, an angel person. I forgot their name, I think it was something like Feld…something, it's not important. Actually, I might be wrong on that one. Oh, and a manas, but mostly because of their defensive skill, but that won't be a problem, and I think someone else. I forget their names. All of them will be on the biggest and most luxurious airship you will see."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait…Veldora's sister? A true dragon? Uh, should we call Veldora into this?" Rimuru panicked slightly at what Artoria said. This was new to him. The only thing he remembered was her talking about a marshal or something of the Eastern Empire, but a True Dragon?
"Nah, not really, he'll probably not even take it seriously since it's his sister, but she will. I don't want that. I don't care if Veldora is a true dragon."
"Uh, but I think we should come up with something."
Artoria held out her hand. In a white glow, a lance materialized.
"That is our 'something'. We don't need to worry about anything with that."
In another white glow, the lance turned into a parasol, and Artoria placed it next to her, providing shade from the sun.
"What?"
"I only need to say a few things, release a few restraints, and we'll be fine."
"Let go of a few restraints? You won't turn evil or something, will you?"
"That is not at all what I mean, Rimuru. And why would I go evil?"
"Never mind, just a thought. Well, what would an evil version of you look like?"
Artoria sighed. "I'm only having these conversations to pass the time until this ship is where it needs to be. But in short, just imagine my armor in all black with red, glowing cracks. Same with my sword and lance. Imagine me with paler skin, yellow eyes, a very pale, almost white version of my hair, black horns on my head, and that is what it would be."
Artoria drank another glass of whiskey.
"Okay, you gave that answer way too fast." Rimuru was a little concerned. That was a bit too much detail said in a short time.
"Okay? And?" Artoria just shrugged it off as she drank another glass of whiskey, finishing the bottle.
"Never mind. So, just waiting, then?"
Rimuru ignored the fact that she finished drinking an entire bottle.
"Yup, you can go get a drink or something. That bar has everything."
"Everything? Even that stuff that smells like jet fuel or something? By the way, no way it's legal."
Artoria, from seemingly out of nowhere, pulled out a clear, but decorative bottle that had a dragon cap on it. "In this country it is."
"I meant on Earth."
"Oh, in that case, it's not."
Artoria opened the bottle, and Rimuru had to step back a little from the intense smell. He felt off just from smelling it at a distance.
"So, how do you know how to make that?"
Artoria explained the story while pouring herself a glass of what she considered the specialty of Tempest. "My dad took me one time with his friends, and they made pure corn liquor, and not in a legal way, so it's called moonshine. Now, I learned the process, but never actually made it myself. When my mom found out what he did, I can swear the wrath of Hera was felt that day across the world. Even the animals on our ranch felt it. I've never had a scarier moment in both my lives. And that includes the kick from the horse that sent me to this world."
"Your family is crazy. And also, that's how you died? I'm just now figuring this out? Wait, what was your name before you reincarnated?"
"No, my family is not crazy, and my name was Blair. Anyway, you see, if you ask me, people should be allowed to make their own alcohol without any legal trouble. It's another one of those stupid laws the United States has, but not as bad as some of the gun laws that are insanely stupid and make no sense. "
Artoria drank a glass of the "jet fuel" Rimuru described. How she drank it without physically recoiling, he had no idea. He was confident that it could knock a True Dragon on its back. He had heard that it basically put Luminous out of commission for a while.
"Why is it illegal?"
"Taxes, duh. It's illegal because the government can't collect taxes on it. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As far as I'm concerned, it's taxes, and only taxes. This is why I hate the federal government so much, Rimuru," Artoria said in a slightly agitated tone as she drank another glass in frustration.
"Uh…okay. Alright. Let's just…relax a bit," Rimuru was not sure how to go about this. Didn't she say she wouldn't go on a rant or get all political?
"This is why any president that can make me root for the federal government is automatically one of the greatest presidents in American history in my book. And there are only three, maybe four, that fit the description. And I say maybe four because this guy FDR was the one who signed the National Firearms Act of 1934 into lar, gave the federal government more power that still affects people even decades after, and internment camps. He's lucky he has World War 2 to back him up. He's the second-best Roosevelt, and that's not saying much because there were only two. He's only in my top 10 because of World War 2. So yeah, I guess only three presidents that fit my description."
"Alright, alright, maybe you've had one too many drinks." Rimuru went up and got the glass from Artoria and set it aside.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess. I got a little political there, didn't I?"
"Yeah, just 'a little'. I don't even know how it got to that point. Well, I guess I also asked some questions."
Artoria closed her eyes in focus before opening them and letting out a sigh. "There we go, all sobered up. And, look, we're here." Artoria got up from her lounge chair and pointed down at where the future battlefield would be.
"This is the place where your porcupine plan says we'll make a 'last stand', right?"
"Yup. This is where the ship will circle the battlefield and rain down devastation."
"So, we just wait here?"
Artoria got the lounge chair and parasol and sat back down, but with a better view this time. "Yeah, we'll wait here. The only ones who will go out from here will be the Green Numbers, the dragonewts, and Souei and his team, and Diablo, Testarossa, and Ultima to go start a revolution. They already know what their job is."
"I feel nervous about this now."
"Good, it means you care. If you're nervous, it means you care about the situation. I would be worried if you weren't nervous."
"Huh, that's kind of comforting in a way."
"Hold on to it while it lasts, because the nice green nature you see in front of you will be filled with blood, limbs, viscera, and other gruesome things. The trees will be destroyed and replaced with craters. I don't like doing this to nature, but it's unfortunate. At least Treyni, the dryads, and treants have been warned and accepted what will happen."
"Will you restore the land after?"
"No." Artoria immediately responded to Rimuru's question in an uncharacteristic rejection. Didn't she care about nature with her mentions of national parks and preservation?
"What? Why? Isn't that your whole thing?"
"I'm not going to artificially restore it. I'll let nature itself do the work. And at the end of it, I'm going to make this battlefield a national military park. To preserve it and let people know what happened here. In the future, people will visit it, and students will take school trips as part of their history class to this place."
"Huh, now that sounds more like you."
/\\//\\//\
"Captain, I don't think we'll find his body. The forest and foliage here are very dense. I don't think it's worth the effort."
A group of 4 members was going through the forest, looking for the scout who had never reported back. It was obvious what had happened, but they needed to look for the body to make sure nothing sensitive was taken or manipulated.
"It's not me; the orders came from higher up," the captain responded to the complaint of one of the other members. He also agreed. What was the point of this? It's just one scout, and they're dead. It may be harsh, but compared to the number of people in their military, they were expendable and cannon fodder.
But it also applied to him. Well, at least nothing too bad should happen.
"Okay," another responded to the captain's words.
They kept going through the forest until one of them spotted a gloved hand that stood out from the green nature around them.
"Captain, I think I found him!"
They approached the body and saw that half of the body was covered in very dense vegetation, as if it had grown around it. They could only see the upper torso, but it was obvious they were long dead.
"You two, search the surrounding area. You stay with me. We're going to search the body. Take off the vegetation and foliage covering his body," the captain ordered two members of his squad to search the surrounding areas to see what killed them, while he ordered one to stay with him to examine the body.
Slowly, the one who stayed with the captain removed the vegetation. What they saw was a gruesome sight. Half their arms were gone, and everything below the belly button was gone.
"That's not a pretty sight."
"Come on, have some decency for his body. Turn him over."
Meanwhile, the other two that were scouting the area for any signs of a battle of sorts suddenly heard a loud explosion. They stumbled a little from the sheer force made. They looked at each other.
"What was that?"
They both went back to where the captain was, only to see multiple limbs and pieces of flesh. Dark stains that were blood mixed with dirt were all over the trees and the ground.
"We have to go. Now," one frantically spoke while they instantly ran away.
They were both running away when another loud blast occurred. The one in the lead was knocked off their feet and violently thrown into a tree. They were disoriented, and their vision blurred while their ears made a loud ringing sound.
They slowly got up, using the tree for balance. Once their vision cleared, the first thing they saw was the head of their comrade. They looked around, and combined with the limbs and other pieces of flesh, the head was the only thing that could identify anyone.
They tried to reach for the head, only to see that their hand was missing, separated from their wrist. It was a bloody and gruesome scene.
They let out a loud scream before running away as fast as they could in the opposite direction. It was only sheer luck that they actually made it back.