Chapter 1.15 A Distinct Feeling...
Elvira quietly closed the door to Father's room behind her, watching Keilan and Randus walk off down the hall. Fury dwelled within her heart, burning through her veins like a poison, demanding she move, do something. She wanted to rage, to throw things, to be violent, despite the soft front she'd put up for her sister. She cursed that foreign being that had come to the Four Realms, she cursed the monstrosity that had taken Father's arm, but most of all she cursed her own weakness.
Three times she had struck the foreign god. Three times she had done nothing to it save annoy it; while it had taken only one blow to bruise her and her ego. It took a monumental effort of will to not smash her fist into the wall. Had this been what Father had been talking about, when He said the Four Realms had been at peace for too long?
Had she really been so unable to see her own weakness?
Was this what the future held?
She grit her teeth and teleported away, appearing above the highest domed peak of her own palace. Its golden statues and spires gleamed in the light of the Sun, untouched by the battle. Of all the Realms, hers had been the least effected by the fighting, even over the Karmic, as it would be dealing with the karmic aftershocks of the battle. Even now she could see all across the Heaven Realm, peaceful enough as it was, with just a hint of conflict to keep things moving. Her own People, the Avians, were beginning to flourish here, alongside the Peoples of Keilan and Reika. Spirit beasts roamed the wilds, and somewhere in the distance rain poured over the plains. It was idyllic. Peaceful.
But she could still smell the smoke of the Life-Giving Tree, hear Reika's pained cries, and see Father as He took apart that foreign deity with ease – only to lose an arm to what came next. Her fists tightened, fingernails digging into the palms of her hands painfully. She needed to become stronger; she had power, now she needed strength. Something to push her faster, further, stronger, to temper her body and spirit.
Her gaze once again drifted to the mortals of her realm, and the chaos that now plagued the Physical. Maybe, just maybe, the mortals had the answer to her question. After all, they fought all the time against not only spirit beasts, but also each other. Before that, however, she had to follow through with her promise to her sister and Father, and help stabilize the Realms. Starting with the group of deities below her, in her palace.
She descended through a hole in the domed roof to see them scattered about the grand foyer. Most of the deities the Four Realms had created were currently here; Sol, the sun god, was standing in the center, trying and failing to get those gathered to calm down. Elemental gods argued with each other incessantly, the younger gods – such as the god of storms, who flailed about uselessly – panicking as their elders did. Their auras fluctuated wildly, power being thrown about as their emotions spiked, their debates ringing through the halls of the palace and setting the walls to shaking. Powerful spirits darted about wildly, the amount of power in the room being casually unleashed clearly uncomfortable even for them.
They were all in a panic, unable to function due to fear and confusion. No one knew what to do, even her, but she knew better than to let it show. Another lesson I learned from Father.
"Enough!" Elvira shouted, hiding her own doubts and concerns behind the force in her tone and the flaring of her full might. Her palace rattled at the force, all at once the gods falling silent, Sol looking up at her in surprise. Even his brother, Gilles, the god of shadows, pulled himself from the shade of a pillar to stare at her. "What are you doing?! You are standing here squabbling like children while the Physical Realm is in tatters!"
Shame. That is what flooded all of their collective faces at her accusation. It was a bit of an exaggeration, tatters wasn't quite the right word, but it got her point across.
"Sol! I need you in the skies. See how the damage to the primordial chaos is, and direct a bit of your light to the Tree. Help it mend." She barked. The sun god hesitated for just a moment, bowed, and shot out of her palace in a flash of golden light. "As for the rest of you, get to work! You know what you should be doing, your domains demand it! Go!" she snapped, barking out more direct orders for those who were still panicking and unsure of what to do.
Soon enough all had left her palace, save for one. Gilles, the deity of shadows, who shifted a little awkwardly when her gaze fell upon him.
"Then I will be off, my Lady," the gaunt man rasped, bowing slightly.
"No, wait." Elvira said. He paused even as darkness rose up to swirl around him. "I have a more specific job for you, my secretive friend. And I'll need your help locating these things."
"Locating what?" Gilles asked, the shadows falling away as he turned to fully face her. Elvira flared her wings and gestured skyward, toward where Father had pushed the…void-beast, for lack of a better name, out of the Four Realms.
"Blood. I want to make sure Father didn't miss any of His blood. There are also void fragments floating about up there we need to collect and contain." Elvira explained.
"Void fragments?" he asked again. Elvira raised an eyebrow at him, tamping down her irritation as his two-word questions. He did not deserve her anger, not when it was meant to be directed at herself.
"Yes. When Father fought that beast He detonated a large part of His power, injuring it. I noticed it earlier, but fragments of its being, slivers of pure nothingness, are now floating about in the skies above the Four Realms like shards of glass. We need to collect them before someone hurts themselves or does something stupid with it." She explained. Gilles nodded.
"Right. That would be bad." He agreed.
"Yes. Bad is the term I would use." Elvira said dryly, stretching her wings. "Now follow me. Because of your connection to all things hidden in shadows, I thought you might be useful in locating 'nothing,' and I want to get this over with." And with that she shot skyward, Gilles trailing behind her as she raced to the skies above.
"What about this one? I do not understand why the punishment is not heavier, even for a spirit beast." Randus asked, presenting a small file to Keilan. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, lamenting Randus' inquisitive nature. There were only so many times he could answer a different variant of the same question. But, because he actually had a bit of patience, unlike Elvira, he nonetheless took the file and quickly perused it.
"We already went over this, Randus." He said, shaking his head and setting the karmic file down. "I'm not going to punish a cat for being a cat. Was it a shitty thing to do? Yes. Was it unnecessary? Yes. That's why a bit of negative karma is being attached to it. But killing that bird is still part of the nature of being a cat, and I will not unduly punish it for acting on its own nature." Of course, Keilan had simplified the situation for the sake of the argument, but the basics were still the same.
The laws of karma were pretty simple, in all truth. It was the beings and the situations they created that were complex.
"Besides, it's not like we really punish or reward souls at all. Such a concept that those who manipulate karma deliver punishment or reward is a misunderstanding from mortals on what karma is. I could talk for hours about all the finer details, but that's beside the point." Keilan muttered. He wasn't a punisher or jailer. He hesitated to call himself a judge, even. It was all about directing energy, and getting souls into a place where they can accomplish their own goals and grow in their next lives. Karma was a reaction, it was an energy buildup from choices and actions. His job was to help clean the pollution from this energy, purify it further, and direct it.
Sometimes that meant spending time in the spirit realm, working or learning or earning karma in different ways rather than directly reincarnating. Or even working here, in the karmic palace; these realms weren't just places to simply pass through, they had more of a purpose than that.
"I see. I think I am beginning to understand. There is neither punishment nor reward for acting upon one's own nature; the hunter will hunt, the prey will be eaten. Karma enacts judgement when one's actions are outside of that circle of 'nature.'" Randus summarized, twirling his mustache. Keilan mentally groaned, cracking his neck as he looked back down at his desk, strewn with documents and designs as it was. Ever since the attack he'd been so busy…the aftershocks were worse than he'd imagined they'd be, and it was becoming apparent he needed to better manage the flow of souls into the karmic valley.
Not to mention he was still working on how to properly utilize the sea of memories…
"That is a basic, surface level interpretation that serves well enough to show a basic grasp on the concept. The truth is much closer to the idea of cause and effect. Every action has a reaction, and karma is what is built up from those actions. It flavors their souls, and the energy those souls produce." He explained, tossing the file to the side. It flew neatly into one of the file cabinets lining the wall behind him, next to the massive bookshelves flanking either side of his dark wood desk. "Now I really must get back to work. We need to start separating the lines of souls out, especially with so much karma being accrued now."
His only saving grace, at the moment, was that the act of gaining karma – be it positive, negative, or benign – was largely autonomous. What he, the karmic kings, and other karmic spirits did was help direct the energy of said karma, to aid souls. With a heavy sigh he spun his chair around, looking past Randus to stare out the large, wall-sized window behind his desk. Before him laid the sea of memories, its dark waters glittering in the light of the sun. Tall, rocky mountains ringed the karmic valley, keeping the ocean at bay, and from his position here he could see a few spirits drifting about over the surface. It looked simple. Keilan knew better.
Beneath the surface, on the ocean floor and in the water, which was not truly water, echoes of memories formed and faded. Ruins of buildings, echoes of creation, dens of long-passed spirit beasts all swirled into existence only to fade away in an instant. The memories of the entire Four Realms lay within the ocean, not just of the living beings, but of all creation. It made Keilan want to go explore it, traverse the sea and see it for all it was. But there was too much work to do.
Unfortunately, it seemed he was destined to be interrupted today. Right as he turned back to his potential plans to sort the lines of souls and spirits, and potentially adding a few guiding ritual circles and such to expedite the process of directing karmic energy, the doors to his office were flung open with a bang.
"What now?" He groaned, looking up at the karmic king that had burst in. He was one of the oldest, and took on the appearance of a four-armed Fae, with jet-black skin, silver eyes, and a golden ring floating behind his head like some sort of sun. Most other karmic kings matched his appearance, with a few minor differences.
"Sir," the king said, bowing. "The High Lady has been spotted in the grand entryway. She interrupted the cycle of souls for a few moments, before heading deeper into the palace."
By the time the karmic king was finished speaking Keilan had already leapt from his desk, Randus falling in step behind him as he marched out of his workspace.
"Thank you for informing me. I will take care of Her. You may return to your duties." He said, nodding to the king as he swept past.
He marched through the long, dark marble halls of the karmic palace with purpose, dark robes fluttering behind him as he followed the traces of Mother's energy. He found Her hard at work in one of the lower levels. At first he felt relief that it was just an incarnation, not Her true body.
Then his heart clenched – even as a projection of Her will, the incarnation looked exhausted. Dark bags hung under Her eyes, and She was still missing an arm. Randus made a weak noise in the back of his throat, but stayed right next to Keilan instead of rushing to Her side. She stood in the center of a karmic array; a ritual circle designed to aid lesser spirits in guiding karmic energy, something he could do without such a crutch, and was sifting through karmic strings and memories like a Woman possessed. Karmic kings and spirits alike darted about in a panic, unsure how to handle Her presence and still a little riled up from all the chaos.
He'd need to sort them out and calm things down a bit, but for now he needed to deal with Her.
He couldn't be sorting out this mess, his own feelings, keeping Randus entertained, and keeping Her contained all at the same time. Powerful though he may be – are you, though? A traitorous part of his mind whispered – there was only so much he could deal with at a time without driving himself mad.
"Mother," he said, exasperated. She looked up at him as he approached, blinking unseeing eyes before turning away entirely. "Mother, you need to rest. Destroy this incarnation, please." He pleaded. She muttered something to Herself, holding up a string of karma like it was a toy, inspecting it with an intensity that gave him pause.
"I apologize," She said in a shockingly monotone voice, still holding up the karmic string. "This incarnation has limited functionality, and is therefore unable to answer or comply with most requests. Please limit your requests to questions within my functions."
This pulled Keilan up short, having never, ever heard Mother talk like that before. The incarnation had…limited functionality? What in Her name did that mean?
"That is new," Randus muttered under his breath. An understatement. Keilan added mentally.
"What is your function?" he asked.
"Searching for influences of the Shadow," Mother stated, dropping the karmic string and drifting along the floor, toward the stairwell leading down into the archived memories. Keilan and Randus followed, waving off the bowing, inquiring spirits that paused their duties to pay their respects. An unnecessary gesture, but appreciated.
"If you are looking for Gilles, Ma'am, I am sure he is hanging around Elvira somewhere," Randus said. "They were collecting Void fragments, last I heard." Gilles had a strange draw toward Elvira, so that wasn't surprising to Keilan. The mention of Void fragments, however, was. But Mother just shook Her head, drifting down the long staircase to the archives.
"Not Gilles. He is of darkness and shadow. Not the Shadow." She replied in that same monotone, purple robes fluttering as She stared at the rows and rows of bookcases. Glowing blue books, each a record of a different soul, filled the shelves. Mother drifted along, touching books seemingly at random, only opening a few here and there.
"What is the Shadow?" Keilan asked, remaining just behind Her.
"Unknown. Potential threat. Believed to have summoned the foreign deity. Seeking answers." Mother's incarnation stated, holding open a particularly thick book and nodding to Herself, snapping it shut and placing it back on the shelf. Keilan's eyes grew wide at the revelation all the same. Something had summoned that deity?! "Enough evidence has been gathered. Returning to main body for analysis. Farewell, Keilan." And She vanished with a pop, disappearing with little more than a shower of golden, divine power. Keilan frowned and grabbed the same book She had been perusing, flipping through the pages and scanning the memories within.
This soul had lived a fairly average series of lives, neither profound nor disastrous. He frowned and scanned the memories deeper, straining his senses to the limit and – there. It was but a moment from the soul's peripheral vision, but one that made a lasting impression on it. Something, moving in the corner of its eyes was a darkness that wasn't just darkness. A glimpse of something dark and dangerous, and had driven the soul into a life of hiding and fear. It was –
The book slipped through Keilan's fingers and he staggered back, breathing hard with sweat beading his brow. His vision blurred slightly and he pressed his thumb and forefinger against his forehead, stabilizing himself and his energy. Fear. That was what he'd felt. Raw fear. Randus raised an eyebrow at him, but he shook his head. Controlling his breathing and smoothing his robes, he carefully picked the book up, put it back on the shelf, and swiftly exited the archives, folding his hands behind his back. He had to resist the urge to look over his shoulder at every step, a chill running down his spine. He couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, not anymore.
This…this required looking into. Maybe Mother meant to show him. Maybe She didn't. Either way, he should have noticed something like this.
There was something lurking in the Four Realms, and he got the distinct feeling it meant to do them harm.
Chapter 1.16 Dragons and Men
In the years that followed the attack, Alexander did not rage. He did not thunder his discomfort or unhappiness to the heavens above, as Elvira did. He did not thrash, or set fire to things, or vent his wrath upon the hapless, or any number of things the mortals claimed dragons did in their young, mistaken mythologies.
He stewed. Even as he set about fixing the Life-Giving Tree, mending broken branches, encouraging them to grow together once more. Even as he blew fallen leaves off of the lands of Pangea, freeing the inhabitants below from the shadows they cast. Even as he did his utmost to protect the mortals from the chaos, and guide them from their own dark desires.
Even when he noticed the way the chaos was directed. Guided by some unseen hand.
For five years he stewed, and observed.
Spirits swam about through the Spirit Realm at his command, bringing energies and powers from all over the Realms. They flooded them through the spirit river to pool in the Physical Realm, aiding its growth and attempting to counteract the growing chaos. He drained away the excess negative energy, Qi tainted by negative emotions radiating from mortal souls, burning away the negativity as best he could to leave a purer, more flexible power behind.
He coaxed mortals away from rampaging spirit beasts driven mad by the buckling of reality, and coaxed those same hordes to take other paths to avoid tribes of Fae or Avians or any of his siblings' other Peoples. It wasn't perfect, and he was not as skilled at such manipulation as Father. Freewill was an inalienable right, given to all of His children, be they dark spirits, greedy mortals, or the righteous. As such Alexander couldn't force mortal beings to listen to his coaxing, his whispers…especially those who had shut themselves off to the spiritual, choosing instead to mire themselves in the physical. Such a decision was crippling to both sides.
He wished he could do more smaller acts, to aid the inhabitants of the physical world. But it was taking all his effort to soothe the cracks in reality as it was. And freewill, once again, made everything more complicated.
Which is why he had no choice but to sit there and watch the First City burn as only an incarnation, the technique Father so liked to employ, a sliver of his will observing its destruction while his main body continued his work.
Fae fled the walled city in droves, powerful spirit beasts breaking through the defensive structure like mindless machines, tearing through the city in a mad dash. The city lord, a man named Dei, stood at the helm of the defenders. His spear was savage and swift, his skill, in many ways, reminding Alexander of the foreign god as he struck down beast after beast.
But there were far too many of them, and they were far too powerful. Illusions fell about him like a blanket, muddling his senses and dulling his spear, and for each beast he felled two more took its place. Alexander frowned and turned his attention to one of the less powerful groups of cultivators, sending a sliver of will down to a city guard sensitive to the spiritual. The little tendril had him turn a corner rather than head straight down the street he'd been following, leading him and the three families he protected towards Dei.
Satisfied that the guard was safe, Alexander turned his attention to the aggressors.
The leaders of the spirit beast horde, three powerful spirit beasts of true sapience, had grown far too greedy far too quickly, and now sought to wipe out the City. It had been built upon a convergence of two ley lines, making it a perfect place to cultivate, and they wished to make their new den there. They'd taken advantage of the chaos; an earthquake had struck the city not too long ago and weakened the defenses. So, they had whipped the lesser beasts into a frenzy and drove them to war. This alone was not necessarily an evil act. It was how they actively killed and sought to kill, hunting those who fled with gleeful abandon, slaughtering without remorse or purpose, that made their actions foul. They killed for the enjoyment of killing, not just to strengthen themselves or lay claim to their new demesne.
Dei and his men fell back, buying time for their people, and the city would soon be lost.
"Something drives them," Alexander noted, peering closely at the three spirit beast Kings. Each one would be a troublesome opponent for Dei. Together, the three shadow panthers stalked him in the shadows, waiting for a moment of weakness to pounce. Together they had the strength to take him down, but their nature spurred caution. Especially after the previous city lord, an old woman slightly less powerful than Dei, detonated her cultivation in a fiery explosion in an attempt to injure the spirit beast kings. But they had proven wily, and escaped with few injuries. One peeled away from the group for a brief moment to kill a woman and child, running through an alleyway, leaving their bodies in the streets. There had been no purpose to that, that Alexander can tell. Besides, perhaps, just to kill.
Alexander squinted at them as he watched it return to its siblings, sensing some form of irregularity in the beasts' souls. Something insidious had touched them, granting them a small burst of power for the price of a piece of their freewill. That same power urged them to do worse than what was necessary. Freewill was an inalienable right...unless it was willingly given away.
Mortals truly did not know the price of their own soul. Foolishness.
Dei shouted out orders, blood splashing his grey robes as he slew another charging spirit beast, his men falling back further, toward the eastern wall. Many of his people had fled that direction, guided by soldier and spirit alike. Elements crackled forth in a wave as the remains of his personal guard stepped forward, unleashing cultivation technique after cultivation technique. The unity of their purpose provided a bulwark the mad beasts could not break. And the city continued to burn.
"There is something driving them," Father's incarnation suddenly said, appearing beside Alexander and sounding just…exhausted. He dared not look at His face, ashamed as he was of his own weakness. "In a way, controlling them. These choices are their own, made easier by a force that is not. I should have made angels first. They could've helped. Put the cart before the horse, in this case." He muttered.
"Oh?" Alexander asked, watching Dei retreat with his people. They would escape, but he was not sure the spirit beast kings would not follow. The body of a cultivator contained much qi, and would grow their power immensely. Especially one as powerful as Dei. The question was, would greed overcome their instincts that Dei was not an easy opponent? Injuries were still problematic to deal with, even for powerful spirit beasts.
"Yes. I hoped angels might be born naturally over time, but I hadn't expected this chaos. I should have erred on the side of caution and made them first. It's a mistake I intend to rectify. I – oh no, one of the two lovers died." Father suddenly cut Himself off, voice laced with sadness. Alexander rumbled something, scanning the city to see what He was talking about.
The first two Fae souls Father had ever created were in the city. The female currently sat cradling the dead body of her lover, a younger Fae with black hair, that had jumped in front of a charging flame boar to save her. He had not survived the impact, blood pooling around his broken body, but had succeeded in saving his wife.
"We must go, Celene!" Dei barked, grabbing the back of the woman's shirt and hauling her to her feet. She fought him, kicking and screaming, desperate to get back to the body of her lover, but he was in all senses of the word stronger. "Do not let his sacrifice be in vain, you fool! Come on!" Another flame boar – this one larger than the one that had killed the boy, came barreling through a building, only barely missing Dei and the now-named Celene as it charged through the chaos. Together they fled through a break in the walls and into the woods, chasing their people and leaving the devastation behind.
"In the next life, my boy. Your sacrifice was not in vain, nor will it ever be." Father whispered fondly. Alexander glanced at Him to see Him cradling the male's soul with His one arm, smiling down at it. He let it go, the soul floating off to join the spirit river, flying as fast as it could to get to its next life. "Watch them, Alexander. Their struggles, their sacrifice. It is what forges their souls; selfless sacrifice, good deeds, all these mean more in times of chaos. Dei is a good, strong soul, but he needs guidance. Celene is a soft soul, adventurous yet kind, now hardened by loss. And the boy…he, too, was a soft, kind soul, but strong in the way that mattered."
"I see," Alexander mused, and he truly did. He could see the responsibility on Dei's shoulders as he fled, weighing down upon his soul and driving him forward. He had chosen to shoulder the weight of his people, and if he did it right, he would be all the stronger for it. His was not a decision that had been selfishly made, even if he had desired power. Such decisions needed to be selfless, in Alexander's opinion.
"I'm sorry, I'd truly love to stay, but I can barely keep two incarnations running as it is. I just wanted to check in with a few things real quick, see how you were holding up." Father said with a yawn. Alexander grunted.
"You should be getting some rest." He said softly.
"Ain't no rest for the wicked." Father said, patting his side. He nearly flinched away from the contact. "Be strong, Alexander, as you always are. You are a good soul." And with that, He vanished. Alexander huffed out a sigh and shook his head, turning back to his duties. Even if he couldn't intervene, he owed it to these people to at least bear witness to their struggles. This should've never happened. He should've been strong enough to protect them.
No, that wasn't right. He needed to change his thoughts.
I am strong enough. He realized, a bit numbly, recalling the foreign being's words. I just don't have the technique or skill to control it. I need understanding. I need control. Know thyself…know thy enemy. I know neither, and if Keilan is to be believed, there is an enemy.
I must be ready for the next storm.
Dei hated to admit it, but that green-eyed woman's words were the only thing keeping him alive.
He brought up the rear as his people fled the city, heading north, toward the great bridge that spanned the Windswept Chasm. The Lord's Guard, powerful soldiers trained to protect the city's leadership, lead the way and bolstered the sides of the pack. He trusted them implicitly; even without him at the helm they would keep what remained of the city guard standing and the independent cultivators, who now ran alongside them, filling in their ranks, from doing something too stupid. Everyone but Dei carved a path to safety through the forest, through mad spirit beasts, to a bridge whose crossing and subsequent collapse may spell safety to the few remaining Fae.
He brought up the rear.
Everyone else would just get in the way.
Another spirit beast fell to his spear, the thousand-colored snake spraying its blood across his robes as he pierced its skull. Illusions fell about him like a blanket, distorting his senses and coloring his perceptions. It drove his rage and anger insane, begging for him to stand and fight, take back what was rightfully his, avenge his fallen mentor – the old hag who drug him out of the tribes and the streets, to become who he was!
But such intense rage was not his own.
"Everything is within. Seek nothing outside of yourself." He repeated like a mantra, and the illusions vanished like smoke in the wind. His anger cooled enough for him to keep a level head, the shadows lightening and revealing two black panthers stalking toward him. Their qi was strong, smelling of ash and hatred, constantly trying to seep into his own qi to disrupt his cultivation. Dei took a few steps back, risking a glance over his shoulder to see how far his people had gotten.
The last were just leaving the line of trees, barely two thousand of them – compared to the nearly forty thousand the city had once housed – sprinting across a few hundred yards of open plains to the bridge. Even from here he could hear the howling of the Windswept Chasm, the perpetual windstorms that plagued its interior sounding stronger than usual. The Windswept Bridge, a white-stone structure sustained by powerful formations, hung heavy over the chasm. People flooded across it, a few of his guard standing on the other side, preparing to collapse it once all his people were across.
He needed to stall for only a little longer.
"I don't have all damn day," Dei ground out, turning back to the panthers and scowling.
"You are a resilient one," one of the panthers growled, speaking through qi so Dei could understand. There was only one language, when speaking through qi, and all understood it. "Maybe if you'd stayed to fight, you'd have stood a chance to keep your den. Pity."
Dei stiffened, knowing the panther was taunting him, that he'd had no chance against all three of them and all those other spirit beasts. But he also understood something else. Had this happened before he'd met that woman, before she'd said those damnable words, he might have stood his ground and died with his city. The qi within was too rich, too powerful, to give up without a fight. And the cores of three spirit beast Kings would have spurred him to even greater heights, had he survived. Now, though…
It had only been five years since the Tree had been shaken. His cultivation had not grown in that time, ever since he stopped absorbing ambient qi. But something within him had. Something far more powerful. And it told him that his people were more important than a place.
"My brother and I will consume your flesh, Fae. You won't be as nourishing as the Old One, but your cultivation will still feed us nicely. Perhaps even propel us into the next Realm," the other panther growled, its voice sounding like it came from right next to him. He frowned, gripping his spear so tightly the haft creaked. Silence stretched for a long moment, the two sides waiting with baited breath.
Monkeys screeched in the trees, igniting their fists and beating their chests as the shadow panthers pounced, claws of wind hurtling through air, cutting through tree trunks as easily as a hot knife through butter. Dei batted the air blades away with ease, his own qi wrapping around his spear as he twirled, letting his instincts guide him. He lashed out with a kick to the side, his foot planting itself in the first panther's throat as it leapt out of the shadows, intent on disemboweling him. His spear spun rapidly, the butt end slamming into the mouth of the second panther and forcing the haft down its throat – then the third finally appeared, descending from the branches above with claws bared and magic swirling from its form.
"FUCK OFF!" Dei bellowed, pushing the entirety of his cultivation into the words. A veritable explosion tore through the forest, blowing the panthers away and giving him room to retreat.
And so they danced. The panthers charged and probed, trying to get to him and slowly wearing him down, while he slowly retreated, buying time for his people.
"Dei! We're finished crossing the bridge!" one of the guards shouted, qi carrying her voice to his ears. He risked a glance over his shoulder, seeing that, indeed, all his people had crossed. His guards stood on the far end, keeping a group of flaming-fisted monkeys from getting any further than halfway across – Dei ducked under a panther and whirled, sprinting towards the bridge.
"Collapse it!" He bellowed, willing qi to coat his feet and push him faster. To their credit, his men did not hesitate. Explosions rocked the great structure, stones and monkeys alike falling into the chasm below as Dei sprinted toward the edge of the cliff. His heart thundered in his chest. Blood poured from a wound on his forehead. Wind roared below him. The panthers yowled their dissatisfaction. And he hurled himself off the cliff with a single, mighty leap, forcing all of his qi into that one jump.
For one terrifying moment he feared he might not make it, that he was doomed to fall to the impossibly deep depths below, to be torn apart by the raging winds.
But it was those same winds that proved to be his salvation – a sudden gust caught him, forcing him higher, giving him just enough of a boost to lift him over the edge of the opposite cliffside. His feet hit the ground and he stumbled, dropping his spear as he fell face-first on the ground with a groan. Immediately his guards were upon him, helping him to his feet and patting him on the back. His gaze fixed itself on the opposite cliffside, where the three shadow panthers cursed and raged as they slunk back to the treeline.
"Seek nothing outside yourself." He muttered again, willing any illusions placed upon him to slide off. Nothing changed, and he felt himself relax slightly – but only slightly as he turned back to the ragged, scared faces of his people, elated at their escape though they were.
He felt no relief. Only the unbearable weight of responsibility.
My incarnation smiled as I watched Dei lead his people away from the cliffside. Every day he proved himself to be more than I had originally given him credit for, and I hadn't even had to intervene to help him! That gust of wind hadn't been my doing. The universe itself had reacted to his will, the power of his soul reaching down and igniting a response in the chaotic winds below to give him just enough boost to make it across.
It was a new power. One even I had a bare understanding of, but would resolve myself to explore.
There was still a long road ahead of them – I couldn't see Dei settling down any time soon, not for anything less than the perfect spot for a new city – but…well. There was, at least, still a road.
I turned away and resumed my search, pausing only slightly to rest my hand upon a stressed point in the fabric of reality. My own energy was not what I used to soothe it. Instead I directed a bit of the energy the group of Fae produced, leaking into the world, to layer itself over the stress-point like a salve. Then I was gone, this incarnation resuming its duties as my main body stirred.
It was about time to wake up.
Chapter 1.17 Here There be Angels
When I dream, I see everything.
That is both an exaggeration and not. I have seemingly little control over what, exactly, I see, but I can see anything. This time, I experienced the lives of mortals.
Every pain they went through, I experienced. The strength of their emotions flowed through me, every little pain and heartbreak. Celene's depression and pain, that sudden unwillingness to survive after the unfortunate death of her fated lover – every inch of it tried to pierce my heart, her cries sounding like my own. Dei's rage and desperation – watching his beloved mentor die to save as many of her people as she could, the desire he held to fight those beasts until his last breath. Yet he couldn't, he had to tamp down on his desires, the black anger that drove him to hate, because he had a duty to his people. He couldn't fall apart, couldn't deal with his own emotions, because his people were depending on him to keep them together. And he would not fail them; all that, I felt like it was my own.
Even the pain of a child, having a toy taken away I could feel.
It wasn't just on Pangea that mortal souls were going through catastrophes, either. On the planets that circled their own miniature suns, separated from the land of the Life-Giving Tree, disasters struck. Earthquakes rocked continents, hurricanes battered coastlines, and volcanoes erupted. Though no one had died in the actual fight, the aftershocks had shaken the already-chaotic Physical Realm.
That wasn't even mentioning the spiritual pain people were going through, as part of living.
But it was not all bad. I had the pleasure to bear witness to a number of strong souls rise above their situations, striving to aid others and lead them to safety. There were genuine acts of greatness among the mortals, some seeming small and insignificant, some not so much. Warm hugs and praise. Kind words, crude jokes told just to get a laugh, a pleasant buzz, a warm blanket on a chill night. A great leader, inspiring their followers. Followers, inspiring their leader. A helping hand, to lift others up out of whatever hole they found themselves in; and I experienced those moments from both perspectives.
I wasn't really sure why I dreamed like this. Maybe it was my connection to the Four Realms. Maybe it was something all Origin Deities felt. Or maybe it was simply an unconscious desire of mine; part of my being, forcing me to go through this.
But I couldn't sleep long, not this time.
My eyes opened. A soft bed lay beneath me, blankets wrapped tightly about my body. To the right a fire crackled in the fireplace, less to provide heat and more for comfort. A few of my favorite paintings had been brought in; a painting of Keilan and me, boating in the sea of memories, one of the Four Realms as a whole, one of each of my first four children, and more. There was, however, a suspicious lack of Randus and his steaming pot of tea greeting me. I suspected he had been taken away to help aid the Realms.
Reika sat in the corner of the room, playing with her child. I'd only been asleep for five years, and the little one had grown slowly – appearing as if she was only two, three years old now. Her nine red-furred fox tails swished happily as Reika made a few small birds of pure, white ice dart around her head. She giggled, reaching up to snatch at them, fox-ears twitching, Reika joining in with the laughter as she kept the birds just out of reach.
I smiled at the heartwarming scene, content to just watch for a time. A part of me even wanted to slip away as quietly as I could, let them have their moments. But I couldn't bring myself to.
"Mama, He's awake," the little girl suddenly said, snapping her head in my direction. She blinked her big, grey eyes at me, and I wiggled my eyebrows at her, sticking my tongue out. She giggled even as Reika shot to her feet, rushing to my side as I struggled to sit up, feeling surprisingly weak still.
"Mother, lay back down!" she urged, putting a hand on my shoulder, just above my missing arm. I shot her a non-plussed look, easily pushing through the kind gesture. "It's only been a few years, you're still…"
"Injured? I know. Mind giving me a hand?" I asked, wiggling my stump, still glittering with gold light as the wound slowly healed. At this rate it would take eons to fully grow back my arm, unless I took some extra time to focus on healing it. Which I couldn't do yet. There were better uses for my time, and the energy that would require. Reika glared at me for the joke and I cracked a grin. An additional weight on the bed, accompanied by a cute grunt, told me the little one had clambered up onto the bed with me. "What's her name?" I asked, gesturing to the toddler as she plopped herself at the foot of the bed, watching me with curious eyes. Reika shifted from foot to foot for a second but eventually relented, moving to sit beside her child. She burrowed into her side, little arms grabbing Reika's dress, tails flicking.
"Kei." Reika said softly, putting a hand on said child's head, right between her ears.
"Kei. That's a good name." I told her. Kei giggled and buried her face into her mother's side.
"'s not a good name." she muttered, voice muffled from Reika's dress. I raised an eyebrow at her. "'S my name, so it's a great name." Reika rolled her eyes in fond exasperation, while I chuckled, Kei peeking out to smile at me cheekily.
"You're right. It's a great name." I agreed.
"Mother, you really should get some more rest. If you woke up just to talk to me and Kei…" Reika trailed off, worrying her lip between her teeth. I smiled at her and shook my head.
"I have no intentions to leave this room yet. It'll likely end up being my new meditation chamber, all things considered, but first I have a few things to do before I start amassing power again." I explained, boldfaced lying about not wanting to leave the room. My incarnations could only do so much; much of my capabilities resided solely within my true body. One of such things was the power of true creation; Mr. Boxes hadn't been lying when he said that it would take a long time to reach the same level of power as I had been, when I first created the Realms. Such acts of great, casual creation were beyond me, but I could still create if I amassed the prerequisite amount of power.
As such, I had to return my consciousness here if I wanted to create what I needed to.
"Amass power? Mother, you need –"
"What I need," I interrupted. "Is for you to go fetch Gilles for me. He should be close to the Sun, collecting Void shards. Tell him to bring those as well as the other things he's gathered, please." Reika frowned at me, setting her hands on her hips and glancing, hesitantly, toward Kei. The little girl just cocked her head to the side in confusion.
"But," she started.
"I raised you four on my own. I think I can watch Kei for a little while without the entire palace catching fire." I deadpanned. Reika hesitated for just a moment longer, then gave her kid one last squeeze.
"Be good for Grandma Statera. I'll only be gone a moment," she said. Kei wrinkled her nose.
"He's a Grandpa, though," she insisted, and I chuckled. Reika smiled softly, ruffled her hair once more, and promptly teleported out of the bedroom. Kei blinked in surprise as she vanished, glancing about rapidly. I whistled to get her attention, wiggling my stump arm. That was getting annoying. I'd have think about how to fix it – a prosthetic? No, that was dumb. "Grandpa?" she asked, and I cracked a grin, a horrible, evil thought coming to mind. Who said I was a good example for children? Not I. Certainly not for grandchildren; grandparents were supposed to be bad influences.
"Wanna set something on fire?" I asked, and Kei nodded rapidly, eyes shining.
Reika returned to my palace on fire. It wasn't real fire, I worked together with Kei to cast illusory flames onto the roof as we stood out front, on the grey-stone landing pad leading to the front doors, cackling madly. My arm was spread wide, the flickering flames atop the domed palace casting my face in an ominous orange glow. Kei stood right next to me, hands on her hips and tails spread as wide as they could go, as she did her best to imitate me. Her cute little cackle sounded more like hiccups than actual laughter, but she had the spirit.
This little trick did two things; one, it started to teach Kei how to use her magic, even if illusions were only one facet of the nine-tailed fox's abilities. And two; the look on Reika's face was priceless.
"Mother!" she screeched, aghast as I broke down into a fit of full-bodied laughs, the panic and worry on her face truly amusing. Kei glanced at me, trying to maintain her little hiccup-cackle even through the dopey grin on her face. Clearly she was my grandchild, for how much fun she was having with this. "What are you doing?! You're supposed to be in bed, not - what are you doing?!"
"Playing a prank, I believe, Lady Reika," Gilles droned, stepping out of the darkness of space behind her, shooting me an unimpressed look. "Those flames are not real."
"I know that. Why are you teaching Kei bad things?" Reika snapped, setting her hands on her hips and glaring at me. I did my best to control my laughter, rolling about on the ground as I was. Kei, meanwhile, ran over to her mother and looked up at her with big, sad eyes.
"Mama mad? Tryin'a be funny," she said. Reika looked down at her and her expression melted, bending down to scoop her up into her arms. Kei buried her face in her mother's shoulder, shoot a single sly look my direction with a little wink, before snuggling closer. That little brat, she just abandoned me! I'm so proud. And honestly, I do deserve it.
"I'm not mad at you, sweetie, I'm mad at Grandma." She soothed, patting Kei's back.
"Grandpa," Kei corrected, and Reika rolled her eyes.
"I do apologize for interrupting, but I was wondering what you needed of me, Lord Patriarch?" Gilles interrupted, immediately sobering me up. I pushed myself to my feet, dusting off my robes with my one good hand. The illusory flames on the palace vanished with a snap of my fingers, the orange glow they cast replaced in an instant with the light of the Realm Sun.
"Yes, sorry, I couldn't help myself." I said, ignoring the Lord Patriarch title. I'd given up long ago trying to tell people what to call me. Even my children did whatever they wanted. "I need a few of those void shards you found, please. The biggest ones." I requested. Gilles hesitated for just a moment, then obediently stepped forward and pulled a jar of shadows out of thin air. I could sense the void within it, nothingness contained and pacified by his power.
With a quick word of thanks I took the jar, popping open the lid to stare at the interior.
"Be careful with these, Gilles. I do not disapprove of you investigating them, but…the void has the potential to drive even deities mad. That rogue god is an example of that," I said, almost completely exhausting my knowledge of the void in the process. Gilles himself might even have a deeper understanding of the void at the moment than I did, save for maybe knowledge of paradoxes. And if that was truly the case, I've been neglecting my own meditations.
There was something about the void that intrigued me, tickling that little power of creation I still held and reminding me of the enormous power I once wielded, when I first created the Four Realms. There was something there. I just didn't know what, and this may help me figure it out.
Gilles paled at my words and bobbed his head, folding his hands into the sleeves of his robe. "I understand. I will treat them with utmost caution." He promised. I nodded and tucked away the void shards in my sleeve – or at least tried to, before realizing that I was still missing an arm. Silence fell over the group as I stared at the empty space with a frown, feeling intensely annoyed.
"That's unacceptable," I grumbled, looking over my shoulder at the six balls of primordial chaos that perpetually floated behind my back…except for when I was laying down. Honestly I hadn't used them for much yet, but, if they were made of the stuff of creation…I willed one of the balls forward, the roiling mass twisting and shifting as it settled into place on my stump, forming a perfect, albeit discolored, copy of my arm. With another flash of power my robes fixed themselves, a sleeve falling over the new limb, leaving only its grey hand visible.
The chaos writhed, connecting with my intent and nerve endings so it could function as a true limb. I flexed my new fingers – they felt stiff, and unwieldy, but it was better than nothing.
"Much better." I said, and promptly stuffed the void shards up my sleeve before returning the rest of the jar to Gilles. "And did you find any more of my blood?"
"No, Sir," Gilles said with a shake of his head. I frowned but accepted the answer, knowing it to be the truth. "Will that be all, Lord Patriarch? I do have more searching to do – there are more void shards out there."
"Unless you want to see the creation of an angel, that will be all." I said distractedly, already moving on to my next project. Karmic energy swirled around me as I pressed the palms of my hands together, divine light radiating from between them. Reika stepped forward, Kei fixating her eyes on the shining light.
"Right now?" Gilles asked.
"Mother…" Reika warned. When will she learn that, just like I cannot control her, she cannot control me? I know I should be resting and not using too much power, but I need to do this.
"Now." I said, nodding. The chaos of the Four Realms needed true guides to help the most people through it, but I couldn't just make a legion of angels and call it a day. Not only was I not currently strong enough to do that, I just didn't want to. Most angels I wanted to have rise up naturally; but an example could be set, in this case.
Two new souls swirled into existence between my palms, floating out to sit upon the ground before me, awaiting instruction. Power settled about me like a cloak as I considered my options for how to go about this. I doubted they would appear like the angels of my old universe, but there was certainly going to be some similarities. "In His own image," and all that.
Karma roared as the divine energy I commanded ignited under my will, swirling down to condense around the two new souls I had made. Kei made a small noise in the back of her throat as a blinding golden light erupted from them, positive karma reaching critical mass and exploding outward in a divine, golden light.
When the light faded, two angels stood before me. Their skin was the color of silver and gold, white horns sprouting from their temples and three eyes blinking at me – two in their normal places, a third in the center of their foreheads. A plasmatic aura of pure white light erupted from the crown of their heads, circling around their bodies and creating the illusion of a halo and wings. Golden light radiated from their irises as they took in their surroundings, flexing their new, muscular limbs. And finally their gazes fixated upon me. They smiled, standing straight and squaring their shoulders.
Silver robes fell about them, the holy aura they radiated expanding outward.
"Mother…" Reika repeated.
"Fu Hao. Stilicho." I said, naming each one in turn. They bowed their heads at the names, thumping their fists over their chests. "You know what to do." I told the angels, who nodded.
"We do," they chorused, levitating off the ground. "Leave it to us." And with that they shot off into the universe, both heading in different directions. One to Pangea, the other to the Heaven Realm. Once there they would begin their work untangling some karmic threads, guiding souls into rising further up the karmic chain…hopefully creating more angels and raising mortal souls to that threshold as well.
I sighed heavily and let my shoulders slump, turning back to my palace. Once I resume my meditations, I'd better set one of my incarnations to fix the building, or Randus will give me an earful. Especially since my meditation chamber has been destroyed.
"Mother, why? I thought you wanted to wait for a soul to reach that level naturally?" Reika asked. "Those angels you created may be powerful now, but their growth will be slow, won't it?" I nodded my head. That was true, and was the downside to creating angels in this way. Their power was initially great, but the growth of said power would be far slower than the growth of a spirit who clawed its way up there, or a mortal soul who did the same.
"I couldn't wait any longer, and honestly, I truthfully do not know what will happen when a mortal soul reaches the level of karma necessary." I admitted. Gilles made a curious noise, and I turned to him with a patient smile, attempting to hide my weariness. "'Angel' is a blanket term for spirits that reach a level of such high positive karma they begin to touch upon the divine. One could claim such souls have taken the first true step to reaching the level of a god, though the vast majority will not complete the journey. As such, many will most likely wind up in the service of more powerful divine beings. Mortal souls differ from spirits in many ways, partly due to their ability to mesh with the physical, but the matter of cultivation…complicates things." I said slowly, furrowing my brows.
Dei, for example, didn't have the best karma in the world, but had amassed quite a bit of power. To the point I wouldn't be surprised if he at least reached the cultivation gate known as "immortality" in his lifetime; something I hadn't been expecting for a while yet. On the other hand, if a soul amassed enough good karma and elevated their own personal understanding of the universe enough, they should be able to achieve immortality as well. That was how I did it in my old universe, and was one of the only methods of doing so.
It needn't be said that was not the case here.
"I see. So karma could be considered another kind of cultivation, then." Gilles said. I blinked and thought about it for a moment. That was…huh. That was unfortunately correct. "Just as there is the matter of absorbing qi, or of cultivating the fleshly body, there is also a matter of cultivating karma. And you do not know how surpassing the threshold that would normally mean an ascent into an angel will affect mortal souls."
"That's right." I said, nodding. Even if I hadn't really understood it that way until he said it, that was the gist of it. "Now, I will be entering closed-door meditation soon. There are things I need to discover about my own powers – which these void shards should help with, thank you, Gilles – and power I need to amass."
"Power? You still intend to create the Lunar Star?" Gilles asked, no judgement in his tone, just curiosity. Reika hummed, patting Kei on the back as the little one started to nod off.
"Yes. Its creation is important to the balance of the four realms and the future of its growth. Without it…well. I won't say destruction, but things will be much harder. It'll be a slow process, amassing the power, but I do intend to take breaks and wander about a bit." I said. "If anyone has any questions, I'll have incarnations running about. Reika, dear, I would love it if you would let me spend some time with Kei. Not only would it give you a bit of a break, let you do your own thing, but I do want to get some quality grandparent-grandchild bonding time. But for now…well, I really do need to rest some." And with that, I drifted back inside the palace.
Only when I was sure there were no eyes upon me did I frown, casting my senses outward in a brief burst. Where was –
There.
It was slinking away, vanishing almost as soon as my divine sense touched it, but I still caught a glimpse. The Shadow had been watching.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. Through most of my investigations, that had been all the Shadow had done. Things I'd found had been glimpses, the Shadow just observing from the periphery during large and small changes. Though I thought I detected a bit of anger from the being - who I had yet to see clearly - most of the time its observations seemed to be just that; observations. In fact, I daresay the first thing that it had ever really done was attract the foreign god. Its intentions, therefore, remained shrouded in mystery...though I was starting to catch glimpses of what the answer may be. Only a vague idea, however.
Still, one thing was for certain, as it always was.
There was too much to do, and too little time.
Chapter 1.18 Worry
My incarnation stood beside my true body, frowning slightly. I really did look a mess, sitting cross-legged in my newly created meditation room. My hair was in disarray, be it male or female form. My face was pale, my robes tattered and stained with soot. My arm of primordial chaos looked a little weird, its grey-and-blue coloration a sharp contrast to my natural skin tone. Yet my breathing was even, expression placid and calm as power began to build in my core. Since I did not have the seemingly limitless powers of creation as granted to me by the Overgod, that meant I had to amass it on my own by storing the energy my soul created, condensing it, and transforming it into the correct flavor of energy I had in mind.
It wasn't a terribly efficient process. I estimated I had a fifty percent efficiency rate which, while not abysmal, was still unideal. That wasn't even counting that I intentionally let some of my energy through to keep nourishing the Realms, as well as pushing up into the primordial chaos to bolster its own growth. This meant I had to amass even more energy than I might need, just in case creating the Lunar Star was more costly than I expected…
And once I reached a certain point, I might be locked in my meditation chambers until said energy reached the required levels. Already my full, unrestrained presence was difficult for many beings to handle, my sheer aura threatening to collapse souls unless I took extra care to protect them. I'd gotten much better at it since the creation of the Four Realms, especially with my discovery of divine incarnations, but with all that added, extra power on top of it?
Well. I doubted even my ability to keep it all perfectly under control. Especially if something was looking to harm the Realms or my children.
"Are you sure this is wise, Marm?" Randus asked, stepping out of the shadows beside me. I looked from myself to him, raising an eyebrow. The butler was concerned, twirling his moustache nervously and gaze flitting between my true body and this incarnation. Only once did he turn to examine the meditation room, which was far different than my previous. There was no art on the walls, or luxury surrounding me.
It was simple stone, lines of a white crystal circling the stone pad my true body rested upon. There were no lights or windows, leaving the entire room in total darkness – even the door, a large, metal thing, wouldn't open unless I willed it to. The message this room sent was clear; while in here, I was to be left alone. The only reason Randus had managed to slip through the wards I was building around the place was because I let him.
"You mean continuing to amass power?" I asked.
"Would it not be wiser to pursue this…Shadow you have been chasing?" Randus asked.
"One does not chase shadows. Even I only barely noticed their presence," I said, shaking my head and turning away. A single step carried me away from my true body and out of the chamber, to the slowly-rebuilding palace. All that remained of the old place was a few guest rooms, my workshop, and the treasure room; which was filled with countless tiny curios and such that my People and children had made. They weren't just replicas, either. Many were the original artifacts, like the first cave drawing ever! That said, the near-total desctruction gave me a lot of leeway to rebuild as I saw fit.
"But," Randus started. A quick look silenced him and had him bowing his head. I scowled at the action, as there was no need to bow, but let it slide.
"This is to force their hand. I cannot claim to know the mind of whatever works against us, but I do understand this; they react the strongest to significant changes to the Four Realms' structure." I explained. "Every time I do something to alter the structure of things and increase the growth rate of the Realms or strengthen its internal structures – such as adding those lesser stars to the Physical Realm, or creating Fae – this thing reacts. I tested this theory with the creation of angels. The Lunar Star is a pivotal creation, its addition will add a balance that will exponentially increase the Realms' growth rate. I get the feeling it will be forced to move when I do start to create it; I'll need more time to confirm this, but that is the current strategy." I preferred dealing with issues before they became a problem. The Shadow had the potential to be a very big problem.
"…so you want to force its hand." Randus mused, a bit of understanding in his tone. "Because this being only appears when you are focused on an act of creation, or elsewise distracted." I frowned and considered that for a moment. That was…probably correct, now that I thought about it. An incarnation had been the first to truly notice the Shadow, even if my main body had been the one to lift the veil.
Food for thought.
"I am encouraging your siblings to focus on expansion and strengthening their own Realms and people. The other gods will be doing the same – as far as I am aware, a couple of the elemental deities are working on creating their own templates of the Elementals Reika created. You are doing excellently, Randus, aiding Keilan as you are. Thank you." I praised honestly, bowing slightly to him. He flushed crimson and coughed, unsure how to take the praise.
"But still, if you remove yourself…" Randus started.
"I am not removing myself. It may seem like it, but I promise that is not the case." I said with a smile, turning back to the palace and tapping my chin thoughtfully. How did I want this to look? Chinese? Japanese? Roman forum? Why not all three, and then some? I already gave my angels Roman and Chinese names, why not keep mixing up cultures? "Just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I'm not there. Besides, my incarnations will be running about." And I meant that quite literally. There was something specific I wanted to research heavily; my most powerful incarnation was focusing heavily upon it.
I needed a contingency plan, just in case my true body was incapacitated when the climax of this coming storm came. If I, myself, couldn't fully control all that power…then who's to say I couldn't find something that could aid me? What I had said to Dei wasn't completely wrong; "seek nothing outside yourself." But that only applied to the fact that change and strengthening had to be done by yourself; you had to make and desire the change for it to actually take root. That didn't mean you couldn't seek outside help, such as aid and guidance from other things or people. You didn't have to go it alone.
My thoughts drifted as I set about rebuilding my palace, chatting casually with Randus. This whole situation felt…bad. The Shadow, all those things lurking in the back of my mind…it set me on edge. And not only because they were actively working against my children – and that was where the problem lay.
Not once did I feel like the Shadow's anger was directed at my own being. It was just a feeling. A gut instinct. But that's how I felt. And I wasn't sure I liked what that implied.
The energy of the Heaven Realm fell away, the Holy Mountain settling back into its foundations with a groan of stone-upon-stone as this incarnation finished its work. The ley lines beneath the mountain had become tangled somehow, so I fixed it. Even such a simple action brightened the aura of the Mountain, the yang-energy it produced brightening just a tad. It was funny, to me, how each of the key features of the Realms produced their own kinds of energy, like a battery. The Mountain produced Yang, the Tree made Life, the Valley Yin, and the River mixed them all together while adding its own bit of spiritual energy.
"Father, may I have a word?" Elvira asked, suddenly appearing behind me. I dusted my hands and turned to her with a smile, raising one eyebrow at the seriousness of her expression. Her wings were flared, her loose white robes fluttering in the breeze, blonde hair tied up in a tasteful bun with bits of gold jewelry. Yet her eyes were unwavering in holding my gaze, the tension in her shoulders palpable.
The angel behind me, Stilicho, raised an eyebrow as well, taking a few steps back to give us space.
"Yes? What can I help you with?" I asked, glancing at both Sol and Gilles. The two deities stood just behind Elvira, equally serious. In the past few years they'd taken to being her advisors and such as she helped guide the other deities in their duties, calming the panic. I was incredibly proud of her for taking charge like that.
"I would like you to teach me to fight." She said, and my thoughts came to a screeching halt.
"You want me to – what?" I stammered. This shouldn't have come as a surprise to me. It really shouldn't have. But I'd been more expecting this from Reika or Alexander, not the independent Elvira. Of all my children, I had expected her to try and figure things out herself.
"Please," she said, bowing her head formally. I glanced at Stilicho, who shrugged, then at Sol and Gilles, who bowed their heads as well to avoid meeting my eyes.
"Um, sure," I said slowly. To be honest that fight with the rogue deity had been the first fight I'd been in, in eons. Since before I created the Four Realms, even. Most of the dark spirits I'd "done battle with" during my time as an angel-equivalent didn't really count as a fight. They'd been little scuffles and spats, arguments with the beings for being somewhere and doing something they shouldn't. "Not sure I'm the best teacher for this, but I could teach you a little if you want."
"I have already observed the mortals for a while now. I understand that is not enough time, but I would like your advice." She said. I hummed and rubbed the back of my neck, floating forward.
"What have you done so far?" I asked, wracking my memories for where to even begin with this. There were plenty of militant mortals, but there was a difference between fighting as a god and as a mortal, something I, myself, was learning. Plus, this was just an incarnation. I highly doubted that I could do much teaching in this form; my functions were limited enough as it was to conserve power. Give it another few hundred years and that might change, but…well. Right now I only had access to about a fourth of Elvira's own power.
"I spent a few years tempering my body in the primordial chaos. Such measures will take more time to elevate my fleshly body into something worthwhile, however. Searching memories of the mortals has given me ideas on a few techniques and skills I might be able to learn, but functionally I have yet to get anything working that is worthy of my power." She explained, rambling a bit. I nodded, narrowing my eyes slightly. There was something off here…what was her game? If it was just about training to become worthy of fighting the rogue god, she was already on the right track.
…and she knew that. As independent as Elvira was, she wouldn't come to me for aid like this without first having a good grasp on martial techniques and skills. I did not doubt she had already improved, but not for one second did I believe it was up to her perfectionist standards.
"First, tell me where this is coming from." I said, folding my hands behind my back.
"My attacks did nothing to that rogue god."
"Do not lie to me," I interrupted. She was a terrible liar; her wings always twitched when she started to lie, or attempt to twist words. Keilan was more the manipulator. She was more straightforward. I was sure there was some truth to what she was saying, but that was beside the point. Elvira worked her mouth for a bit, then withdrew into herself slightly. Her golden eyes stared into my own green, filled with a myriad of emotions I purposefully did not read into, letting her come to me in her own time.
"I am worried." She finally admitted.
"About?" I pressed. "Is it about the Shadow? I know Keilan told you about it,"
"About you." She said with a shake of her head, and I pulled up short. Huh? "You haven't been taking the loss of your arm well, and I worry about how you are reacting to the Shadow." I frowned at her, crossing my arms across my chest. What the hell was she trying to get at here? I lost a me-damned arm, and now –
Ah. I realized, catching myself. This is what she meant. I'm irritable.
"You doubt the Creator?" Stilicho asked, stepping forward, his aura flaring outward. I placed a hand on the silver-skinned being to calm him, shaking my head slightly. Irritation still bubbled in the pit of my stomach, though, demanding Elvira explain further.
"I do not, Stilicho, and Father's angel or no you will not speak to me that way." Elvira snapped, flaring her wings and squaring her shoulders to meet Stilicho's challenge. "Father needs to understand the situation we are in." And that got me a bit riled. Anger spiked in my heart and my fists clenched, doing my utmost to restrain myself. I didn't understand the situation we were in? I knew exactly what kind of a situation we were in, and I hated it with every fiber of my being.
"He understands." Stilicho pressed. "The Creator has a plan."
"We know His Majesty does," Sol said smoothly, calmly…deceptively so. "That is not what Lady Elvira is trying to say."
"Then listen to Him, and have faith in His words." Stilicho replied.
"You are the one who needs to listen, you brat!" Sol snapped. "She has something to say, so listen!"
"Enough, brother. Stilicho is young, he needs time to understand things." Gilles soothed, laying a hand on Sol's shoulder. Stilicho bristled beside me, fuming at the two gods as he launched into a tirade, waving his hands dramatically and waving his arms wildly to illustrate his point.
I, meanwhile, met Elvira's gaze while they continued to argue, a vein throbbing in her forehead. She opened her mouth and I crossed my arms, waiting for what she had to say next, some part of me daring her to do so, to challenge me. But that was not a good part of me. That was a weak part of me. I needed to understand what she was getting at, before I said anything.
That was what had led to my question in the first place.
"Father, I want you to trust me." Elvira said finally, softly, her annoyance fading away as she dropped her gaze from mine. The other three silenced themselves at her words.
"I do trust you." I said.
"No, I want you to trust me with this." She said, flying forward so she was floating just before me, well within arm's reach. Her eyes were wet, and I softened my own expression. "The Shadow. I am weak, I know, but I want to prove to you that I – that we, your children, could handle this. I want you to be able to trust me with it. I – I don't want you to get involved."
"Why not?" I asked, now well and truly taken aback. Not get involved? I was already involved, and there was no way I couldn't be involved.
"Because this is a fight between your children. Whether or not you try to deny it, the Shadow is one of your children too, I can feel it. And I fear where this conflict will lead." She said, and there it was. The little truth that I'd been…well, not denying, but not allowing to come to fruition. The Shadow was malicious, but it was also a creation of mine, wasn't it? Someway, somehow. The connection was there, and it was too strong. It was simultaneously why I could feel its influence, but not find its form.
"Elvira…" I said, laying a hand on her shoulder and feeling tears prickle the corners of my eyes. But it wasn't my hand that touched her shoulder – it was a hand of primordial chaos, and a stark reminder of who I was. I was the kind of being who would give anything to protect my children. How could I…how could I pick sides here?
That was what Elvira feared. That I would pick a side, when I had to remain impartial to be who and what I am.
She leaned forward and wrapped me in a hug, burying her face in my shoulder. Tears soaked into my robes as I returned the hug, my throat tightening with emotion.
"I'm sorry. I – I would still love for you to train me a little, and I do want to spend more time together. I just don't want you to be forced into this mess that we made – I'm afraid that whatever this being is, it is our actions that causes it to want to attack us, not yours. Keilan agrees, and so does Alexander. So please. Just trust me with this. You've given so much for us, and I don't want to lose you." She mumbled.
There was the final fear, the final puzzle piece I was missing to her request. My sacrifice had scared her, and so did my continued insistence on running myself ragged to fix the Realms. I squeezed her tighter as her wings wrapped around us, enveloping the two of us in warmth and feathers.
"Of course. I'm not going anywhere, Elvira. I love you." I returned, closing my eyes tightly and fighting back tears, squeezing her tightly.
I just…I wish I'd gotten to know the Shadow, too, before things had gotten to this point.
If only it'd told me it was there, maybe we could've had moments like this as well.