She looked at me for a long moment. "Are you serious? Why are you doing this?"
"I'll be honest with you," I said, meeting her eyes. "Because you're very intelligent. Or at least, you have the potential to be. You're one of a kind in that aspect. It would be a shame to waste it."
"Oh great! Another one that's all about my intelligence," she snapped, full of sarcasm, eyes already moist. She stood up abruptly.
"Sit down, Paige. I'm not finished," I said, my tone firm.
She huffed and turned as if to storm out.
"If you walk through that door, there won't be second chances from me," I said in a calm, neutral voice. "You can go and keep wrecking your life. I won't stop you. I want to help you—but don't take it for granted."
She paused. Her shoulders stiffened. Then, slowly, she turned around and sat back down across from me, arms crossed, her eyes hard.
"What exactly do you expect, Paige?" I asked, my voice laced with sarcasm. "You're cute, sure. But I don't lack cute girls around me—and most don't come with this level of problem."
I leaned forward, voice even. "We've talked what—four times? We can't even call ourselves friends. We're barely acquaintances."
She flinched slightly.
"You think I'm moved by your situation? Girl, this country is full of people with broken childhoods and no direction, most of our problems come from that. My own school is packed with them. Girls with parental issues, trouble making friends—and yeah, some of them are cute too. You're not unique in that."
I let it hang for a moment.
"You know why I don't go offering a hand to every one of them? Because I can't care less. They're not my friends. I'm not a charming prince or some savior. My house isn't a charity."
She looked down for a second. Then back up, confused.
"But you," I said more softly now, "you're different. Not because of your situation. Because of your mind. I wouldn't mind having someone very intelligent, funny and sharp by my side. In no time we can build a real friendship."
She didn't say anything. But she didn't leave either.
I reached across the table and took her hand. "I don't go showing this side of me to just anyone. If we want this to work, at least you need to know that I'm not without flaws."
Paige suddenly lunged at me and hugged me tight. "You're a crap person, Jake. You don't talk to little girls like me like that," she said playfully.
I snorted, hugging her back. "Yet, it seems we're gonna be big friends."
She leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, "You sure you don't want more?" Her voice was low and teasing.
I stood up, letting her fall flat on her butt.
"I'm not into little girls," I said, mocking her earlier words and putting emphasis on little girls.
Paige rolled her eyes, stood up, and brushed off her pants. "I will totally make you fall for me!" she declared. Then added, "And you know what I'll say after?"
I raised my eyebrows, silently prompting her.
She placed both hands on her heart and said in a dramatically sweet tone, "We can't. I'm your little sister."
I grabbed her hand and kissed it. "If that happens, we move to Alabama."
She burst out laughing. As we were leaving the deck, she glanced at me.
"Do you think our kids would be like Sheldon?"
"Eww," I said. "This world can only handle one Sheldon."
We both laughed as we walked back inside together.
---
Later that day, we went to the Santa Monica house. I explained everything to Mom.
"Of course you can stay here," Judith said warmly as she embraced Paige.
I thought to myself—maybe Mom saw herself in Paige. Her relationship with my grandparents was still rocky.
"We just need to talk to your parents," she added.
"They don't care about me," Paige mumbled.
I decided to step out, claiming I needed to use the bathroom, and left them alone for a while.
When I returned, Judith called me over.
"Jake, come here," she said, her voice a little serious. "You don't talk harshly to Paige. She's thirteen."
She sounded like I had bullied her.
Paige was sitting there with a smug smirk on her face.
"She was drunk and high yesterday," I said immediately, throwing Paige under the bus.
Judith's head snapped toward her.
"He drank too!" Paige said, pointing at me.
Now Judith glared at me.
"She puked all over my room!" I added quickly.
Judith alternated her gaze between the two of us before finally saying, "You two are grounded."
We both went to my room. I didn't mind—I wanted to read anyway.
"Thanks a lot," Paige muttered, giving me a little jab with her elbow.
"That's your fault. You started."
"But you didn't need to escalate it," she shot back.
I shook my head. "You're impressive, Paige. First day here and already grounded."
"Shut up, you idiot. You're grounded too."
---
In the room, I looked over at her. "Did you decide what you want? You can take your time, you know."
"I'll call and transfer to Caltech. I'm pretty sure they'll accept me."
"Are you sure?" I asked, looking at her seriously.
She nodded, with a quiet sort of determination. "Yeah. I'm ready to try. For real this time."
I nodded back. "Don't worry, I'll help you."
I know that teachers might not take a thirteen-year-old girl seriously (even if she is a very genius one). I'll call Pepper and see if she can connect me to someone important over there. You've got the capacity, Paige. You just need someone who's willing to take you under the wings.
"Don't worry, I will help you," I said.
Paige nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek. A chaste one, with no other meaning involved.
"Thank you! Thank you for everything. That means a lot to me, even if it doesn't work..."
Before she could finish, I gave her a light tap on the forehead.
"Don't jinx it. Everything will work out."
She rested her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a moment before I said, "If you say something stupid, I will kick you out of the bed."
"I didn't say anything," Paige murmured.
After a while, she started walking her fingers along my chest. "Hey, do you know that this is my first time in a boy's room?"
I kicked her off the bed.
"Ouch," she said.
I looked down at her. "That's a lie. You've been in Sheldon's room and in my room back in Malibu."
"Sheldon doesn't count, he's practically asexual. And yesterday I didn't even see your room," she said, getting back onto the bed.
"I'll stop the tease," she added and rested her head near me again.
We ended up falling asleep like that.
---
When I woke up, the light was already creeping in through the window. I stretched and looked beside me.
Paige wasn't there.
I got up and walked out of the room. When I reached the living room, I saw her sitting with Mom, both of them flipping through a photo album.
"What are you two doing?" I asked.
"Your mother is showing me pictures of you when you were young," Paige said with a grin.
I walked over and looked at the album with them. Then I turned to Paige.
"I was cute, right?"
She looked at me oddly and said, "That is not the reaction I was expecting..."
Judith chuckled and explained to Paige, "He might be learning from his uncle. Both have no shame at all."
"Mom, you're supposed to agree with me! For starters, that's your job—to tell the girls how cute I was."
Mom glared at me deadpan, ignored her motherly duty, and said, "I'll make dinner for us," then got up.
I looked at Paige and changed the subject. "My friends will be here tomorrow morning."
Paige just nodded.
---
The next day, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Cher, and Regina showed up in the morning. After we exchanged greetings, Carly asked, "What's so important you want to talk about?"
I held up a hand for a moment and gestured for them to follow me out to the deck.
Paige was standing there, waiting.
"Ta-da," I said. "May I present... my little sister?"
Carly and Freddie screamed, "You have a sister?!"
Cher and Regina shook their heads in unison. "You don't have a sister," they said with conviction.
Sam was unfazed, looking completely indifferent. "Cool," she muttered, already eyeing the snack tray nearby.
"How do you know?" I asked Cher and Regina.
Cher replied, "We've talked to your mom. And we've met your dad..."
"I got it," I said, cutting her off.
"So who is she?" Regina asked.
I turned to introduce Paige to everyone. "She's a friend of mine. She'll be living here, so she'll be like a little sister. And I want her to hang out with us."
Regina gave me a light shove and walked over to Paige with Cher.
"I like your style," Regina said with a smile. "But if you want, we can help you improve it."
Cher nodded. "And we can introduce you to cute boys, show you the parties that are trending..."
I walked over and wrapped an arm around both their waists. "I changed my mind, you two are out."
They both jabbed me in response.
Carly, Freddie, and Sam walked over and started talking with Paige. She was a little awkward at first, but gradually warmed up. Freddie and Carly were really easygoing, and Cher and Regina—despite their sharp edges—could be genuinely nice when someone caught their interest (they knew I wouldn't let just anyone live here).
After a few hours of conversation, I decided to present them with the proposal I had.
"Hey guys, I have a proposal for you," I said to my friends. "You're out for now," I looked at Paige, who just pouted.
I handed some papers to Carly, Freddie, and Sam—and two different ones to Cher and Regina.
Sam looked at hers and said, pointing to the title, "iCarly? What is this?"
Carly was already reading and asked, "Is this supposed to be like a show?"
"Yes," I confirmed.
"But we're not actors..." Freddie said, confused.
"I know, the idea is for you to be spontaneous. That's why you'll use your real names."
"Wouldn't it be like what we did for the school audition this year?" Sam asked.
I nodded.
Yeah, I had them record something like an episode for the school audition. It was a hit, and they won again this year.
"We'll be on TV? Are you serious about this?" Carly asked, incredulous.
"Dead serious. Unless you don't want to. We can make a test and see how you feel about it."
"I'm in. Sounds like fun," said Sam.
"Me too," said Freddie.
"I'm okay with it too. But why use my name?" asked Carly.
"iCarly is a good name," Sam, Freddie, and I answered in unison.
Cher interrupted, "Mine is a movie? Clueless..."
"Mine is Mean Girls..." said Regina, narrowing her eyes at me.
"They're perfect for you two..." I added casually.
Cher and Regina shot me a glare.
"What? I'm presenting you with a proposal to star in a movie. You don't want it?"
They both jumped on me at the same time. "No way, our handsome Jake."
Two weeks had passed, and the group was getting together again at my house in Santa Monica. Paige had adapted well to her new life—which wasn't surprising. My friends are nice, and she could enjoy a life of comfort (and luxury).
She had quickly managed to transfer to Caltech.
I was in her room now, talking with her about the days she'd be staying in the dorm.
"So you're going to stay in the dorm Monday and Tuesday next week?"
Paige had managed to get a flexible arrangement. Technically, the first two years were supposed to be mandatory for dorm residency (and most students stay even after that), but Paige was a special case.
"Yep. I only came back today because you said everyone was watching your ex's TV debut," she said with a smirk.
We were gathering to watch the premiere of Smallville, where Laura was making her debut.
"How's Caltech?" I asked.
"I'm doing great. But Sheldon is annoying as always..." she replied.
"At least you have a friend there," I said, smirking.
She looked at me annoyed. "I'll befriend a very beautiful girl and bring her here. And make sure you never kiss her!" she mocked.
"Good luck with that," I mocked back.
"And what about Missy?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Nah, the moment you said you'd kiss her, she'd break any deal we had," she replied playfully.
I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't talking about that."
"She's still grounded. She will be until the end of the month..."
"Mom was too lenient to let you go with only three days..." I murmured.
"Hey, you don't even stay grounded for a day," she snapped back.
"Why should I be grounded? I was a charming prince helping a drunk girl in distress..."
Paige just threw a plush toy at me.
"By the way, back to Caltech. How's it going with the professors I mentioned?"
"Dr. Eric Gablehauser is helping me a lot, and surprisingly he listens to my opinions. Dr. Siebert is the Chairman of the Physics Department at Caltech, so he doesn't have much time, but he helps when he can."
"How do you know those two? They basically run the department..." Paige asked, clearly impressed.
"Lil' sister, this world is all about power and money."
Dr. Siebert's daughter wants to be an actress. Pepper just had to connect the dots. And no one could say anything. It's not like they're giving Paige unfair advantages—her potential and talent are undeniable.
Gablehauser just followed the flow. If Siebert rises further, he'll probably be next in line to head the department.
The doorbell rang.
Everyone arrived not long after, and soon the living room was full. We all sat on the large sectional sofa in front of the massive TV.
Carly looked excited. "That's exciting, seeing a friend on TV."
Cher, Regina, and I all looked at her weirdly.
"Carly, you're in a series. Your name is in the title," I said, raising an eyebrow. "You've already been in a movie and in a hugely successful music video."
Carly looked confused for a second, then laughed. "I guess I'm just not used to it yet. It still feels surreal. I mean, I never took acting classes, let alone went through auditions..."
"I just love our gig better," said Sam. "I'm being paid just to be myself."
"You're welcome," I said. Sam and I bumped fists.
"When is it being released?" asked Freddie.
"Next month," I replied. "Nickelodeon liked the three episodes we recorded. We'll release and see the public reaction."
Pepper already made a deal with them.
I paused, then added, "We're also recording a few more episodes just to stay ahead. They even suggested a writer—a young Dan Schneider—but unfortunately, he had five of his limbs severely injured."
Freddie blinked. "Wait... five?"
"Yeah, don't ask," I muttered.
After a few minutes, the show started.
As Clark Kent appeared on screen, Cher sighed and said, "He is so dreamy."
I immediately kicked her off the sofa.
She looked at me, annoyed. "Seriously, Jake?"
I shrugged. "Sorry, reflex."
A few minutes later, the moment everyone had been waiting for arrived. Laura appeared on screen as Chloe Sullivan.
"There she is!" said Regina with a smile.
"She looks cute with short hair," added Carly.
"Woah, that was Jake's ex?" Paige exclaimed in surprise. Then she turned to me, mocking, "She is waaay out of your league."
"For your information, she was the one who approached me first," I replied.
A loud, synchronized, "Yeah, right," echoed through the room.
Sam smirked at me. "You hit on her the first day."
Cher corrected, "He hit on her with the very first 'hi.'"
"I was only being polite," I protested.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed. I picked up my new Samsung SPH-i300 and looked at the screen.
"See?" I said, holding up the phone for everyone to see. "Guess who just texted me."
Everyone leaned in. Paige narrowed her eyes. "Is that... Laura?" Paige read the contact name.
"Yup. She asked if I saw her scene. I told her we're all watching together."
"Isn't it weird everyone looks like adults?" asked Freddie indignantly, changing the subject. "They're freshmen in high school. They're supposed to be a year younger than us!"
"Ha, I agree with Freddie," I said. "And Lex is like 21. Isn't it strange that he's going to be hanging out with a bunch of 14-year-olds?"
I paused for a moment. Wait... why do I feel like I just made a self burn... let's forget about this.
The episode continued, and the room stayed quiet for a few minutes—one of those rare moments where everyone was too engaged to talk.
"That was really good," said Cher. "I'm happy for Laura."
Everyone else chimed in with their praise, nodding in agreement.
"Let's send a message to her," added Regina, already pulling out her phone.
I stood up without saying a word and left the room. I had already congratulated Laura and exchanged a few messages with her during the show—she was torn between texting me and telling me to focus on watching.
A minute later, I returned carrying a medium-sized box. Everyone turned their heads as I placed it on the coffee table.
"What's that?" asked Carly.
I didn't answer right away. I simply opened the lid, revealing the contents inside while the group leaned in curiously.
I opened the box and showed it to them.
"iPod?" asked Freddie, reading the label on the box.
"Yes. It's Apple's new product," I said, handing one to each of them. "It's like an MP3 player, but it can hold up to a thousand songs."
Apple wanted a Marshmello song to use in their ads. Pepper made a counteroffer, asking for a special edition of the iPod—Marshmello version. Same price, but with a Marshmello face engraved on the back and all 25 songs released so far preloaded, including the ones from the upcoming album.
They agreed to pay us $25 for each iPod sold. It would come from their profit margin, since the retail price would remain the same.
Jobs wasn't happy about it, but somehow the board managed to convince him. God knows how.
"It will only be announced next week, on the 23rd," I continued. "And sales start on November 10th."
This iPod is still big. But it's probably the best MP3 player on the market.
As I looked around, I saw everyone had already opened their boxes and were holding the little bricks in their hands.
"Here, let me show you how it works," I said, taking one unit and turning it slightly. "You can scroll by rotating this wheel."
Yeah, first generation wasn't touch-sensitive—the round part had to be physically turned. Retro tech at its finest.
"It has the Marshmello face on it, and all his songs... nice!" Paige said, turning it around.
We all looked at her.
"Oh, yeah, Paige. I'm Marshmello," I said to her casually.
She snapped at me. "What???"
"I said I am Marshmello," I repeated.
"I hear that," she said a little angrily. "What do you mean you are Marshmello?" Paige asked.
"That. I. Am. Him?!" I said, pausing between the words.
Before we could continue the back-and-forth, Sam said, unfazed, "It's him. Jake is not making a prank."
Paige looked at me, incredulously. "How could you be him?"
"Now I'm the one who's incredulous and outraged. How did you just accept it because Sam said so?"
Sam put her arm around Paige's shoulders. "We bond together."
Paige gave a wide smile.
"Oh, no. I have a bad feeling about this," murmured Freddie, with Carly nodding in agreement.
They had seen Paige's personality over the past two weeks—rebellious and mischievous.
"Let's come back to Marshmello," said Paige. "You are the most popular singer in the world??!" Still not believing.
"Yes, we all went numb about it..." murmured Regina with an unfocused glare.
"Jake sang the best two songs. We are all in his clips," Cher began.
"But I thought it was because of Regina's dad." Said Paige
"Nah, he wouldn't do that," Regina affirmed. "He wants me to make it on my own. He only helped Marshmello—with Rupert—because he thought Pepper had great potential. Maybe also because Marshmello gave me a chance to be in the video clip."
"There's the best part," Cher continued, "we met J.Lo, Christina Aguilera, and Britney. And Jake is going to keep singing with even more celebrities."
"What??" screamed Paige.
---
A few days passed. I was texting with Laura—she texted first, saying she was happy that after airing the first two episodes, which averaged 7.8 million viewers, the WB had placed an order for a full season of 21 episodes.
I stayed in Malibu over the weekend, and Paige stayed in the dorm on Monday and Tuesday. I decided to go to her room and knocked on the door. Nothing. I knocked again and rang the doorbell (we had installed doorbells in every room—Mom complained I never heard her knocking).
After a moment, Paige opened the door and said, "Come in."
I walked in and froze. "What the hell..." I murmured, staring at the chaos around me. Flip charts filled with equations were scattered everywhere. The whiteboard she had installed on the wall was also covered in dense math. Then I looked up—and my jaw dropped.
"How the hell did you get those giant equations on the ceiling?" I muttered.
She shrugged and replied with a grin, "Optimizing vertical space is essential when dealing with non-linear dynamical systems in constrained environments. Plus, I had sticky pads and a ladder."
I took a few steps back and closed the door.
Paige tried to open it and shouted, "What are you doing?"
"You're going to destroy the country, and I don't want to be part of it," I replied dramatically from outside.
After a few more sarcastic comments, I opened the door again and stepped inside. "Okay... what is all this?"
She rolled her eyes at my childish behavior but said, "I'm competing with Sheldon to see who can solve one of the Millennium Prize Problems."
"Huh, P versus NP, Navier–Stokes, Poincaré Conjecture, Riemann, Hodge Conjecture ..." I said, reading some of the problems scribbled across the top of her ceiling equations.
I twitched my eyes. "Are you trying to solve all seven at once?"
"No, I just looked to see which one I had more chances with," she said.
Then I looked at her, keeping my glare. "What?" she asked weirdly.
"This isn't about Sheldon," I said. "Or at least, not only about him. Say it."
Paige was about to dodge the question, but ended up saying, "You're already the best singer in the world. I want to be on top too."
I patted her head. "It's good to get motivated, but don't get burned by it. Don't push yourself too hard."
"Don't worry," Paige replied, resting her head on my shoulder. "Now I have someone I can lean on if anything happens."
I embraced her for a moment and said, "Okay, let's kick that C-3PO ass. Which ones do you think you're closest to?"
She pointed at P versus NP, Navier–Stokes, and Poincaré Conjecture.
"Poincaré... this is the one," I said, remembering it was the only one that had been solved. Something with Ricci flow surgery and about spheres or something.
Paige replied, still with her head on my shoulder, "I was trying to solve it with Ricci flow..."
"How about surgery?" I asked.
She looked at me weirdly, then suddenly a light sparked in her eyes. "You are a genius!" she exclaimed.
"Of course I am," I said, placing my hands on my hips.
Now she was looking suspicious. "Do you even know what Ricci flow surgery is?"
"No idea. Not so ever. I read it somewhere, but I have no clue," I replied.
Now she was looking at me with deadfish eyes, like I was the dumbest person in the world.
"Can't we just go home?" my dad groaned as we walked into the small beachside café with Uncle Charlie.
"If I gotta drag you to the doctor," Uncle Charlie began, pushing open the door, "at eight in the morning..."
He gestured toward the counter. "...you can cool your jets while I get coffee."
Dad rubbed the bandage covering his left eye. "I must look like an idiot."
"Wish I could tell you otherwise," Charlie quipped without missing a beat.
"You're the reason we ended up at the eye doctor in the first place," Dad muttered.
Charlie shrugged. "You said, 'Throw me a piece of toast.'"
"And I did!" he added, raising his eyebrows. "I tossed you a piece of toast."
I was still staring at Dad, completely baffled. "How the hell do you get hurt with toast?" I asked, eyeing the bandage over his eye.
While Charlie ordered drinks, Dad already had his cup and walked over to the table that had milk and other add-ins. But with no depth perception, he was missing everything—pouring milk beside the cup, spilling sugar all over the table.
"Stop, stop—just let me handle it," I stepped in. "I got this. Go sit down."
He sighed and handed me the sugar spoon.
As I fixed his drink, I heard a voice from across the room.
"Charlie?"
"Charlie Harper?"
I glanced over and saw a woman approaching the table where Uncle Charlie and Dad were seated.
"Hey, how've you been?" Charlie greeted with a charming smile.
"Wow, how long has it been?" the woman responded.
"Way too long. This is my brother, Alan," Charlie introduced.
"Hi. This is my daughter, Milly," she continued.
"Hi, Milly," Charlie acknowledged warmly.
"Hello, Milly," Dad echoed.
I walked over to join them, wiping my hands on a napkin.
"Hey," I greeted the woman, then turned to her daughter. She was a lovely blonde, probably a bit older than me. I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Jake."
"Milly," she replied, mirroring my smile.
Then she tilted her head. "And I know you," she noted, eyes narrowing in recognition.
I raised an eyebrow.
"I went to your birthday. Nice party, and great song, by the way!"
I handed the drink to Dad, then smirked at Milly. "Want to grab that table and talk?" I offered, gesturing with my head. "Let the grown-ups catch up."
"Sure," she agreed, grinning back.
"That really is your son, huh," the woman remarked, a little incredulous after watching her daughter charmed.
Charlie just grinned, while Dad interjected, mildly offended. "Excuse me, he's my son!"
After a short while, Milly's mom returned to the table. "We have to get going," she announced.
She turned to Charlie. "Call me sometime. Maybe we can have dinner, catch up."
As she turned away, I leaned toward Milly and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "See you," I murmured.
She smiled. "See you, Jake."
The three of us settled in to finish our drinks. I ordered a cupcake for myself.
Dad looked between us and shook his head. "You two are unbelievable. We came here for coffee, and somehow you're both lining up dates—"
Before he could finish, another voice broke in.
"Hey, Charlie, long time."
"Hey, Sherri. Yeah. Good to see you," Charlie responded with his signature smile, then turned to us. "This is my brother, Alan."
"Hi," she replied.
"Hello," Dad acknowledged politely.
"And this is my nephew, Jake," Charlie added.
"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking her hand.
She smiled, holding her drink, and glanced at Dad.
"What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I asked for a piece of toast and... bar fight," Dad explained with a perfectly straight face.
"Good seeing you, Charlie," Sherri offered.
"You too," Charlie returned with a grin.
Once she walked away, Dad turned to Charlie. "Wow, you went out with her?"
"Yep," Charlie confirmed casually.
"Why would you stop?"
"I don't really remember," Charlie admitted with a shrug. "Probably got bored."
"Bored? How do you get bored with that?" asked Alan incredulously.
Charlie leaned back and replied, "For every beautiful woman, there's at least one guy out there... who's tired of pretending to listen to her in exchange for sex."
"Well, let me go on record as saying," Alan declared, "I am not that guy.
If I ever had a woman like that, I would cherish her.
I would worship her. I would...
...start a small country and put her face on a stamp so I could lick her head."
"Creepy, Dad," I muttered. "Why don't you go talk to her?"
"Yeah, right," he scoffed. "Gorgeous women like that are not interested in pasty guys like me... unless we're in line for the British throne."
"So you give up without even trying?" Charlie asked.
"Yep. That's my motto," Dad replied.
"Why waste time on 10s when you're already getting rejected by sixes?"
Charlie leaned in and looked at him. "Alan, listen to me. You are a smart, sensitive, good-looking man... with some milky discharge coming out of one eye... but who amongst us is perfect?"
I raised my hand, making the two of them glare at me
"Come on, Dad," I chimed in. "For once in your life, don't settle. Go for what you really want."
Dad paused, then straightened up. "You know what? You're right, Jake. I'm gonna go talk to her."
As he started walking toward Sherri, Charlie leaned closer to me and smirked. "You really like the blonde ones, huh." Referring to Milly
I glare at him for a moment and thought, That's actually true... (Mandy, Laura, Cher, Regina…)
Charlie raised an eyebrow, clearly reading my mind. We both chuckled quietly, watching Dad approach Sherri with caution determination.
We both observed Alan from a distance. At first, things seemed to go surprisingly well—Sherri smiled, Dad looked relaxed, even confident.
But then, just as he tried to sit down beside her, he completely misjudged the position of the chair.
With a soft thud and a loud grunt, Alan missed entirely and hit the floor.
Charlie and I facepalmed at the same time.
"And there it is," Charlie muttered.
The front door creaked open as Charlie, Dad, and I stepped into the Malibu beach house.
Alan burst through the entryway, singing. "Sherri, baby," he crooned dramatically.
He spun on one foot and pointed both index fingers toward Charlie and me. "Sherri baby," he sang again.
Charlie and I looked at each other. There was no stopping it.
"Sherri, baby," we echoed in resigned harmony.
Dad wasn't done. With renewed enthusiasm, he belted out, "Sherri, won't you come out tonight!"
He struck a pose like he was on a Broadway stage.
"That's it. I'm out," Charlie said, heading for a drink.
"Oh, come on," Dad called after him.
"No, no, no. No more," Charlie insisted. "You got a date. Leave it alone."
"Not just a date. A date with—"
"Enough."
"I'd think you'd be happy for me," Dad said.
"I am happy for you," Charlie replied, grabbing a bottle. "You had the courage to walk over... with your pus-filled eye and fall on your ass... and still got a date with one of the most beautiful women I've ever met."
"I'm not only happy for you, I'm proud."
"Thank you," Dad said, touched.
"Now, I have to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew... about men, women, relationships, God, and the universe. But that's not your problem."
Dad said thoughtfully, "Charlie, I am as surprised as you that she said yes."
"I don't think so," Charlie replied.
While the two of them continued their back and forth, I slipped away quietly and headed to my room. I sat down on my bed, opened the folder labeled "Report Financials," and began reading through the latest report.
"Brokeback Mountain closed at $83,043,761 Domestic, $95,018,998 International, and $178,062,759 Worldwide. Lost in Translation has already passed the $120 million mark Worldwide."
I murmured to myself, "So we've hit the $1 billion gross revenue mark if we add up all four films... and that using around 32 million dollars."
I flipped the page.
"We already sold $100 million in DVDs for Paranormal Activity and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And that's with the latter only recently released. Pepper said it could go around 30 to 40 percent of the movie's gross revenue in DVD sales... though there's not really a rule of thumb (could be much less or much higher). We used the profit to expand the company, as it was already growing toward thousands of employees."
I kept reading.
"We bought 40% of Netease and made a takeover bid on Hansen's Natural. We acquired 90% of the company, although the former owner remains as CEO (and had the 10%). NetEase was bought through Jacob Funds, but Hansen's Natural was acquired by JD Company, since it will be strongly linked to Marshmello's image. They decided to release Monster sooner and changed the company name (not waiting until Tomorrowland)."
I leaned back, processing everything, then kept going.
As we entered the TV series world with iCarly, Pepper and I decided to branch into other shows too.
We bought the House script and made a deal with Eric Kripke, who had been developing Supernatural for years. Both series will air on Fox Channel.
And the third project is a show called America's Got Talent, which will be aired on NBC. The judges are already confirmed: Piers Morgan, Howie Mandel, and Sharon Osbourne, with Regis Philbin as the host.
The last project was originally a famous teen show from Disney. Here, it will be from Nickelodeon, as we decided to negotiate it together with iCarly. Let's ride the future wizard hype (as HP first movie will be soon released)
I closed the folder and stood up, heading back to the kitchen for a late afternoon coffee. Charlie was already there, fixing himself another drink.
"How about a double date tonight? I pay for the dinner," he said, glancing at me.
I stopped, gave him a long stare, then slowly raised an eyebrow.
"You don't know who she was, right?" I asked, staring straight at him.
Uncle Charlie glared at me for a second, but then sighed and admitted with a shrug, "I don't have any clue..."
"Well, her daughter's name is Brenda Emily Feldman. She likes to be called Milly. So... Feldman rings any bell?" I asked.
Charlie tapped his chin, pondering for a moment, then shook his head. "Nope. Nothing."
"Okay, I'll text her," I said.
A few minutes later, I glanced up from my phone. "Her name is Amanda Feldman. She likes painting and writing poetry, just like Milly. It seems like she hasn't seen you in about twelve years."
"How old is the girl again?" Charlie asked.
"She's sixteen," I replied.
Charlie let out a deep breath. "Uff, thank God."
"Still not sure. What else do you have?" Charlie pressed.
"Uncle Charlie, I can't keep asking about her mother without being weird. But I can say one more thing—she's divorced," I replied.
Charlie looked at me for a moment, then smirked. "So, about the dinner..."
"I'll go," I said, pouring my coffee. "But you can't screw it up with her until Halloween. I already invited Milly to the party."
---
The dinner went surprisingly well, with Uncle Charlie and me fishing for information. We eventually found out she had been a summer fling for Charlie, after her first divorce (yeah, she's now on her second). When the girls went to the bathroom, Uncle Charlie confided that they only kissed, which is why he hadn't remembered her...
"You are scum, Uncle Charlie," I murmured.
"And yet we are here thanks to that," he retorted.
"That's also wrong. Milly was into me from the very beginning. She was at my birthday party. Not that I remember—I was totally with Laura that day."
"Okay, Don Juan. You can have the deck, after I invited them to our house," Charlie said, glaring at me.
After the meal, we all went back to Malibu.
While Uncle Charlie was having a "conversation" with Amanda inside, I was on the deck with Milly, kissing her.
Mom and I were in the kitchen having afternoon coffee when Paige walked in wearing a Halloween costume (the party wouldn't start for a few more hours).
"Check it, I'm a scary black cat," said Paige.
"Dear, the only person that costume scares is me. Go change it," said Judith.
I looked at them weirdly. I swear I've seen this scene somewhere else. But hey, who am I to talk about plagiarism?
"Mom is right, Paige. It's a teen party. You're not trying to seduce a Japanese businessman..." I added.
She huffed a little but changed into a more decent outfit.
---
After a while, Carly, Sam, and Freddie arrived.
I looked at them strangely.
"What are you three wearing?"
"I'm a tuna sushi," said Carly, who was wearing a beige dress and some sort of prop on her back.
Paige whispered, "You were talking about Japanese businessmen?"
"Yeah, but Carly is just being cute," I retorted.
"I'm Lewbert," replied Freddie.
"Wasn't that your weird doorman?" I asked.
"Yes," said Freddie, making some faces.
"And you, Sam?" I asked again.
"I'm a hand sanitizer," she said, unfazed.
I glared at Paige, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm happy with my costume now," she declared.
But then, Cher and Regina arrived dressed as bunnies.
Now Paige was giving me the look.
"They're almost 16, and they're bad influences," I explained.
I made the two of them tone it down a little.
I went to my room and changed my clothes. I was now wearing a vampire costume (Regina's idea). When I came back to the living room I asked:
"Are we all ready?" I said, looking at them.
Cher and Regina nodded in approval at my outfit, but Regina added, "Let's put some makeup on your face," already grabbing a makeup kit.
"Okay..." I agreed. "But just the white powder. I don't need lipstick."
"We all know why..." murmured Cher, helping Regina apply the makeup.
---
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and the first guest arrived.
"Hey, if you need anything from me, I'll be on the deck," I said, looking at Cher, Regina, and Paige.
Carly, Freddie, and Sam were exploring our haunted house (we rented one from an amusement park, complete with actors. It runs on a small train).
I went inside and greeted Milly. She was wearing a witch costume. We stayed on the deck until the party really started.
---
7 p.m., an hour after the party officially opened, I stopped kissing Milly and said to her, "We should head to the party."
She smiled and nodded.
As we walked through the house toward the party, a few people greeted me.
"Hey Jake," said a group made up of four girls and two boys.
"Hello, guys. Welcome to the party and have fun!" I greeted back with a smile. They kept walking.
"Who are they?" Milly asked curious
"I have absolutely no idea..." I replied honestly.
She laughed, a little surprised. "But it's your party."
"Yeah, but Cher and Regina handle the guest list. I think even they don't know everyone here," I explained.
I was watching my security team checking the guests. Mostly for dangerous items and drugs. I have a zero-tolerance drug policy. Same as during my birthday.
We walked into the main party area.
A while later, a kid somehow managed to sneak into the party. He spotted Milly and decided to confess his feelings.
She looked at him weirdly, rejecting him instantly. I stepped closer (I had been talking to Terrance).
Milly gave me a kiss and said she needed to go to the bathroom.
What the hell is Manny doing here? I thought, while looking at the kid
Manny looked at me and froze.
"It's you again," he said, pointing at me.
"How did you even get into my party, kiddo?" I asked, already signaling security.
Before he could answer, a guard showed up.
"Get him out of here. This isn't a kindergarten party."
"I'm not a kid!" Manny shouted, outraged, as the guard grabbed his shoulder and started escorting him out.
Just then, a girl spoke up. "Wait!"
Everyone turned to her.
A girl dressed in a black cat costume stepped forward.
"I'm Haley. Haley Dunphy."
"Jake Harper," I said. "What are you wearing?" admiring her sexy costume a bit
"I'm a scary black cat," she replied, moving closer to me.
Huh. Now I remember where I saw the morning scene
"So, you're with him?" I asked.
"Yes. Can he stay?" she asked, running her hand down my arm, clearly trying to seduce me.
I grabbed her chin gently and tilted her face up. Yeah, she was kinda cute. And the costume did add to the appeal.
"I got it," I said with a smile.
"You do?" she asked with a smirk, still touching me.
"Yeah." I took her hand off me and turned to the guard.
"Get her out too."
"What??" she said, stunned and outraged.
"Go babysit that kid until someone comes to pick you two up."
A female guard grabbed Haley by the shoulder and escorted her out.
"Wait, wait! I don't know him!" she protested.
I waved my hand dismissively. The party didn't lack cute girls. Besides, I already had a partner tonight.
Speaking of cute girls, more had just arrived. I went to greet them.
"Cara, Lauren, and Pippa, glad you made it. Make yourselves at home," I said, my eyes lingering a bit longer on Pippa.
The three of them smiled and greeted me back—Pippa with the biggest smile of them all.
Pippa had dyed her normally black hair blonde and added colorful streaks. She wore a bright rainbow-colored sweater, a flowery skirt, long multicolored socks, and several bracelets on each wrist.
I narrowed my eyes and gave a thoughtful look at her. She tilted her head and said, "What?"
"I don't get how it works. You're wearing like... rainbow, but somehow that's incredibly cute," I said honestly.
I was still standing in front of Pippa, who tilted her head at my last comment, a soft laugh escaping her lips.
"You really think this looks cute?" she asked, gesturing to her chaotic mix of colors.
"I mean, yeah," I replied, still watching her. "It shouldn't work—but somehow, it does. You look like a Lisa Frank notebook that came to life."
Pippa blushed and looked away, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"I told her she'd look adorable," Cara said. "I called her Enid Sinclair—Wednesday's best friend."
"From the Addams Family?" I asked, intrigued.
Lauren jumped in. "Yep. Cara's obsessed with that movie. She even wrote a novel about Wednesday's teenage years. I'm dressed as Bianca Barclay—her rival."
"Lauren!" Cara exclaimed, clearly embarrassed.
"What? You already told him the name you gave to Pip's character," Lauren replied with a shrug.
"Yeah, but I was only going to say it was based on an idea I had..." Cara muttered.
"You should let me read it," I offered. "I've got a few connections in TV. If it's good, who knows? Carly, Freddie, and Sam are starring in a new show next week."
Pippa was probably from a Netflix series. Enid too. Unfortunately, I didn't watch much Netflix. With all the crossovers, I honestly can't tell who's still fictional and who turned out to be real. I only check before launching a film or series—to make sure the person doesn't actually exist. And if they don't have superpowers, I don't worry much. I'm not going to stalk someone just because they were part of a show in my past life. Besides, they tend to show up around me naturally. God bless the pilot.
Pippa gently held Cara's arms. "You really should show him," she said, then turned to me. "I've read it—it's genuinely great."
Cara stayed flustered.
Lauren grinned. "I forgot you're basically all famous. Carly and Sam have done movies, and now they're doing a series. Cher and Regina were in Marshmello's music videos. And you've sung two of his songs. You even had a thing with Chloe Sullivan," she added with a teasing smirk.
"Don't forget Freddie," I said. "He's our cameraman. The only reason he didn't appear before was because he didn't want to. But in the new series, iCarly, he'll finally be on screen."
Milly returned from the bathroom and wrapped her arm around mine.
"These are my friends from school: Pippa, Lauren, and Cara," I said. "This is Milly."
"Of course he's with someone..." Cara whispered to Pippa, earning a nudge in return.
They all greeted each other.
"Where's that little weirdo?" Milly murmured.
"I took him out of the party," I said.
Turning back to the girls, I added with a grin, "Can you believe it? A kid confessed to Milly just minutes before you arrived."
Milly gave me a playful pinch.
"I can. What would surprise me is someone older being brave enough to try that here," Lauren said.
"Hey, you make it sound like I'm some kind of hooligan," I replied, feigning indignance.
Not a single idiot had tried hitting on someone who came with me. Cher and Regina must've done a solid job curating the guest list. And really, how stupid would someone have to be to flirt with the partner of a guy who can call in three dozen brutal bodyguards?
Just then, someone else appeared—dressed as Marshmello—and gave me a big hug.
She playfully slapped my forehead. "Don't look at me like I'm troublesome." Her voice changed for normal
"But you are," I said, smirking.
Turning back to the others, I introduced her. "Guys, this is Brit, my friend."
Everyone greeted her.
"She doesn't seem British. She doesn't have the accent," Pippa said, puzzled, confusing the nickname with someone actually from Britain.
"She was just born there," I lied.
Yeah, Britney just bugged me to come. We had to set up a whole plan so she could show up without alerting any paparazzi.
"Nice party!" she said, looking around.
I gave her a suspicious look. "I don't know if you're just being polite," considering she's probably been to the best parties in the world. "And besides, everyone here is like 16... are you sure you're okay with that?"
"Heyy, I'm only a bit older than that. And I didn't go to many parties without, you know?" she replied.
Without being the center of attention, she must have meant. And here, there were probably six or seven people dressed as Marshmello, making her even less noticeable.
"Okay, let's have some fun," I declared to the five of them, pointing things out. "There's a Haunted House, Themed Escape Room, Fortune Teller, Cursed Treasure Hunt, Themed Photobooth, Mysterious Boxes – 'Touch if You Dare', Horror Movie Trivia... some of them even have prizes."
We started with the claw machine. It was filled with Halloween-themed plush toys—vampires, mummies, pumpkins, witches. Each person had three tries before passing it on to the next.
Pippa went first, concentrating hard as she aimed for a black cat plush. She missed by a hair and groaned. "This thing's rigged."
Lauren took over next, determined to prove her wrong.
"Let's see," she said, cracking her knuckles.
And then Cara. No one got anything on their first turn (3 chances), but the room was filled with laughter and playful taunts.
I gave it a shot and managed to get one on my first try. I pulled out a small vampire plush and handed it to Milly.
"Hey, get that one for me," Brit said, pointing at a bat plush that looked like it had flown straight out of a Pokémon episode.
I focused and dropped the claw perfectly. Moments later, the plush landed in the chute.
"There you go," I said, handing it to her.
"You're actually really good at this," Pippa said, impressed.
Then a voice chimed in from behind us. "Claw machine runs on a randomized program. So even if you're skilled, you probably won't win unless you've been 'chosen'. Jake must have someone cheating the system, making sure the claw always grips tightly when it's his turn."
"No one likes a smartass, Paige," I said unfazed
Paige smirked, stepping forward with her arms crossed.
"Everyone, this is Paige—my little sister," I said, gesturing toward her.
They all greeted her with a mix of smiles and casual waves.
"Hey, Paige." "Nice to meet you."
"Cool costume," Lauren added.
Paige nodded back with a half-smile, not used to being the center of attention.
"I didn't know you had a sister, Jake," Pippa said, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm not," Paige replied. "Not by blood."
"She's just as annoying as one. For a few reasons, she's living with me now. Doesn't look like it, but she's actually really smart," I said.
"You're not one to talk about that," Pippa replied with a grin.
"Pips?!" I gasped, giving her a look of mock betrayal.
Then I let Brit take the controls.
"Three tries each, right?" Brit confirmed, already leaning in to study the machine.
"Yep," I nodded. "Then pass it on. House rules."
Brit's first two attempts were dramatic failures. Her third, though, actually snagged a tiny ghost plush. She held it up triumphantly.
"You see? No cheating. Just Marshmello magic," she said.
Paige rolled her eyes but cracked a smile.
Milly went next and almost got a mummy. It slipped at the last second, and she cursed under her breath while the others giggled.
Lauren managed to grab a mini pumpkin plush by the stem.
Pippa stepped forward. Her first try completely missed, but on the third, the claw actually locked onto a bat plush with sparkly wings. Everyone cheered when it dropped cleanly into the prize chute.
"Finally," she said.
After that, we moved to the giant memory game.
It was a massive wall-sized board with 100 matching pairs hidden behind small square panels. Each team had one minute to view the entire board with the covers open. Then, everything flipped face down and the game began.
Three teams took turns, flipping two squares at a time, trying to remember the positions of each item. Every correct match scored a point, and a staff member stood nearby jotting down scores.
I quickly spoke up. "I'm teaming with Paige."
Cara shrugged and joined Brit, while Pippa paired with Lauren. Milly was okay not to play.
When the countdown ended, the covers dropped, and our minute of memorization began.
Everyone stared at the grid, whispering pair figures and mentally locking in positions.
Then the timer beeped, the board flipped, and round one was on.
Pippa and Lauren went first. They managed to find five matching pairs before they got it wrong.
After, it was our turn. I leaned toward Paige and whispered, "Do your magic."
Paige rolled her eyes—but did the magic.
One by one, she flipped square after square, rapidly revealing match after match. Within moments, she had cleared ninety-five of the remaining pairs with machine-like precision.
The room fell silent. Mouths dropped.
The staff member holding the clipboard stared at the board in disbelief.
I put my hand in front of my mouth, turning to Brit. "Zero points," I whispered dramatically.
Then I looked at Pippa. "Five points," I said with a smirk.
The girls crossed their arms, exchanging suspicious looks.
"You cheat at the claw machine, now you cheat with Paige?" Pippa said, narrowing her eyes at me.
"No way!" I shot back, indignantly. "Paige is legit, she has eidetic memory. And the machine was mine in the first place."
"Seriously," I added. "At home, I don't even ask Mom where stuff is anymore. I just ask Paige."
That made everyone giggle.
After the memory game, we split up.
Pippa, Cara, and Lauren headed off to explore the haunted house.
Brit, Milly, and I went to meet up with Cher and Regina, who were taking photos in the photobooth.
Meanwhile, Paige joined Carly, Sam, and Freddie.
The five of us went to the Fortune Teller.
"I got the best fortune ever," I said, stepping away from the tent with a grin.
"That's because the fortune teller knows you're the one hosting the party," Cher said deadpan.
"Why am I paying a fraud again?" I asked the two of them (Obviously, I never believed in this stuff.)
"People like it," Regina replied with a shrug.
Then she leaned in and whispered to me, "And she might say bad luck to a few people we don't like."
We made our way to the Escape Room next. It was cleverly designed, full of eerie props and tricky puzzles. We solved most of them with only a few hints.
Following that, we played Skull Bowling—yes, literal skull-shaped bowling balls. Surprisingly, Milly turned out to be the best at it, knocking down strikes like a pro.
To wrap things up, we caught up with the others at the Haunted House. Britney hit me twice with her mask while trying to hug me mid-scare. Both times, she jumped at the same moment the animatronics screamed.
"That's the third time you've attacked me tonight," I muttered, rubbing my head.
"I was protecting you from the skeletons," she said, totally unconvincing.
There was dancing, that intensified when the new Marshmello song played:
(Timber – Pitbull)
♪It's going down
I'm yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let's make a night you won't remember
I'll be the one you won't forget♪
♪Oh oh oh oh oh
It's going down
Oh oh oh oh oh
It's going down♪
♪The big they are, the harder they fall
This biggity boys are diggity out
I have 'em like Miley, clothes off…♪
Yeah, o took the Cyrus, I didn't find any name to replace it.
And some impromptu karaoke—which Britney clearly wanted to lead but held herself back—and plenty of other attractions to keep the energy high.
By half past midnight, everyone else had gone home. The eight of us—Carly, Freddie, Sam, Cher, Regina, Paige, and Britney—were sprawled out on the couches, barely moving.
"Can I take the mask off now?" Britney whispered to me.
"Yeah, the party's all friends now," I replied.
When Britney took off the mask, everyone froze. Cher and Regina looked like their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.
Carly blinked twice. "Wait. Is that... who do I think it is?"
Paige was speechless, her mouth open.
"No way," Cher said slowly. "You've got to be kidding me."
Britney gave a small smile and a shrug. "Surprise?"
"Oh, yeah. I didn't tell any of you, huh," I said, as if I had simply forgotten to mention it. I almost made a Garp laugh
"NO!" they all screamed.