Hajime wanted to sever all ties with his mother, to completely erase her from his life. So, when he finally left home, he deliberately left his old mobile phone on the bed, a symbolic cut. He brought nothing but a few clothes and his worn books, intending to start a new life, unburdened by the past. With the quiet, compassionate help of a local priest, he was enrolled in a new school without any issues. He attended diligently for a year, managing to complete his junior year, a small victory. This year would be his final year in high school, and he was still weighing whether to go to college. His homeroom teacher, noticing his aptitude, had advised him to pursue medical school, given his consistently high grades in science.
In terms of work, he now had a part-time job at a convenience store not far from his new, quiet home. He had briefly tried working in a club before, drawn by the promise of quick money as a waiter. But the manager, the customers, and even his male colleagues had constantly harassed him, touching his breasts, grabbing his butt. He had endured it for a month, the humiliation burning, before finally quitting. Now, he worked part-time at the convenience store and attended school full-time. The money was bad, barely enough to get by, but at least he could work without being harassed, without feeling like a piece of meat.
Getting out of that toxic relationship with his mother had brought him a fragile peace. Now and then, in quiet moments, he still thought of her, her welfare, her latest chaotic love affair. Sometimes, he even wondered if someone would help her into the apartment when she stumbled home drunk at night. He knew that every time he allowed his thoughts to drift to her, the pain and abuse she had inflicted would surge forward, giving him nightmares, memories he fought desperately to suppress. Yet, no matter how terrible his mother was, she was, after all, the one who had given him life. He still held onto a sliver of hope that one day, when his mother finally decided to change, they could meet again. In this vast, indifferent world, they truly only had each other, broken as their bond was.
It was the first month of his final school year. Hajime was sitting at a small table in the corner of the noisy cafeteria, eating his lunch in solitary peace, when a classmate approached him. The male student was tall and handsome, with an easy confidence. He pulled out a chair and sat across from Hajime, his gaze direct.
"Do you need anything?" Hajime asked, his voice flat, already bracing for an intrusion.
June looked at Hajime, a small, knowing smile playing on his lips. "My friend," he said, gesturing with a tilt of his head towards a beautiful female student sitting two tables away. "She wants to know your name."
Hajime looked at June, then briefly glanced at the girl, her eyes wide with interest. "Hinode," he stated, giving only his family name.
June's smile widened. "Hinode-kun, I've seen you since last year, and you've never hung out with anyone? Do you have friends at this school, or are your friends at another school?"
"I don't need any friends," Hajime said, his tone clipped, a protective wall rising around him. "I'm fine by myself. Please leave me alone."
June looked at Hajime, his expression unperturbed. "You're one of those pretty boys," he mused, his eyes scanning Hajime frankly. "Are you top or bottom?"
Hajime hated this question, hated the casual way it was thrown at him, exposing a vulnerability he kept deeply hidden. He knew exactly what June meant, the crude labeling of gay relationships.
For years, he hadn't decided which label applied to him. It had never occurred to him which one was "better" for him, only that he knew he was attracted to men. When he was with Kenji, he had been the one who was "bottom," but that was because he loved Kenji so deeply, willing to do anything for him, to be anything he needed.
He looked at June, his eyes hardening. "Either," he said, a defiant challenge. He picked up his bento box, the half-eaten contents suddenly unappetizing, and walked away from the table, leaving June alone.
June walked back to his three friends, a thoughtful smirk on his face. He looked at Akako, the beautiful girl who had been watching. "His name is Hinode."
"Did you get his number?" Akako asked eagerly, leaning forward.
June chuckled. "If you want to ask him out, you can ask him yourself."
Akako looked at June, her eyes gleaming with predatory determination. "If I have eyes on someone, I won't let it slip away."
Shi, one of their friends, smiled faintly and shook his head. "Are you really going to eat all the men in this high school?"
Akako bit her chopsticks, a sly glint in her eyes. "Not all of them. Only those I find cute and interesting."
"I believe he's gay," Kota said with a loud laugh, clearly trying to provoke Akako.
Akako hit Kota lightly on his left shoulder, feigning annoyance. She frowned. "Stop talking. You are ruining the image of my prince."
"If you don't believe me, you can test it yourself by kissing him," Kota challenged, his grin widening. "If he's gay, he won't kiss you back."
Akako smiled, a dangerous glint in her eyes, and stretched out her hand to Kota. "Do you want to bet?" she challenged, her voice low.
Kota grinned, taking her hand. "How much?"
Akako smirked, her confidence radiating. "Two hundred thousand yen."
Kota shook Akako's hand firmly, his grin unwavering. "Fine. Let's shake."
Akako smiled triumphantly, holding his hand in a tight grip. She snorted. "And the deal has been finalized." With a flourish, Akako stood up and walked away from the three men, her target in sight.
Hajime suddenly felt a wave of nausea. He no longer wanted to eat after that unsettling encounter with the classmate whose name he still didn't know. He dumped the contents of his bento into the trash can, the waste mirroring his emotional state, and started walking back to the classroom, seeking refuge in the familiar quiet.
Suddenly, someone shoved him hard, pushing him into a dark, cramped storage room next to the canteen. He spun around, disoriented, and a young lady, her face flushed with an aggressive confidence, began to kiss him forcefully, her mouth bruising his. He pushed her away, his heart pounding, and saw it was Akako, the girl June had pointed out just moments ago.
Akako, undeterred, began to untie Hajime's belt with practiced speed. She quickly pulled down his pants and underwear, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. Without a moment's hesitation, she put Hajime's member into her mouth. She sucked for five agonizing minutes, a perverse, humiliating ordeal. But Hajime's member remained soft, unresponsive. With a disgusted sound, she spat on the floor, then stood up, looking at Hajime, her eyes narrowed.
"Hinode-kun," Akako demanded, her voice sharp with frustrated curiosity, "are you gay?"
Hajime, mortified and disgusted, quickly pulled up his pants, his hands shaking, and rushed out of the storage room, fleeing the humiliation.
Akako wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and walked back to her friends, her face sullen. She slumped into a chair.
"What's wrong?" June asked, barely suppressing a laugh.
"He didn't get hard," Akako spat out, her voice filled with frustrated anger.
"Maybe you did it wrong," Shi teased.
"I gave him a blowjob, and he's still not hard!" Akako retorted, her voice rising in fury.
Kota slammed his right hand on the table, a triumphant grin splitting his face. "I knew it! He is gay!"
The three men burst into laughter, reveling in Akako's humiliation.
Akako seethed, her pride wounded, enraged that her friends were laughing at her. "I want to teach that fag a lesson," she muttered, her eyes glinting with a dangerous promise.
"Why?" June asked, his initial amusement fading slightly. "Just because he's not interested in you. Just move on to your next victim. There's a lot of masculine young males out there, why bother with sissies?"
"He wasted five minutes of my time sucking him," Akako hissed, her voice low and furious. "Would any of you volunteer to make him suffer?" She pulled out her credit card and slapped it onto the table.
"How much?" Shi asked, his eyes widening at the card.
"Three hundred thousand yen," Akako stated, her gaze challenging each of them in turn.
"Three hundred thousand yen to pretend to like him… No way…" Shi scoffed, shaking his head.
Kota shook his head as well. "I'm not an actor, so I can't do it."
June, however, smiled, a calculating glint in his eyes. "I'll do it, but the price will double. It'll be fun trying to do something you three wouldn't dare to do."
Akako's eyes narrowed, then a smirk touched her lips. "Fine. My father is rich. Name your price."
June laughed, a cold, unfeeling sound. "Eight hundred thousand yen."
Akako pushed the credit card across the table towards June. She laughed, a brittle, triumphant sound. "Three hundred thousand in advance. After the work is done, you will get the rest." She raised her eyebrows at her three friends, a silent challenge in her gaze.
June picked up the credit card, his smirk widening into a full, predatory grin. "It's going to be a fun rollercoaster ride, my friends," he said, enjoying their stunned expressions.
June spent an entire week trying to convince Hajime to hang out with him and his friends, but Hajime rejected every single invitation, his polite refusals unwavering. Hajime had been ridiculed and teased countless times throughout his life, his trust eroded, so he hardly trusted anyone but himself now.
It took June a full month to discreetly find out where Hajime was working. So, after school on a Friday night, June made his way to the convenience store. When June arrived, he found Hajime kneeling at the end of an aisle, methodically stacking cans on the shelves. June walked up to Hajime and simply stood beside him, a silent, patient presence. "Yo… Hinode-kun," June said with a casual, easy smile.
Hajime looked up to see June smiling down at him, his expression one of pure annoyance. "Leave me alone," Hajime said irritably, opening a new box, grabbing three cans, and resuming his task, hoping June would take the hint.
"Hinode-kun," June said, his voice soft, almost sincere. "I mean no harm. I really want you to hang out with us."
Hajime sighed in frustration, straightening up slowly. "Senpai, please leave me alone. I'd rather be alone."
"Hinode-kun," June said politely, his voice still gentle, "it is better to have friends than to be alone. I sincerely want to be your friend."
Hajime stood up fully, facing June, his expression one of weary skepticism. "Why?"
June smiled, a charming, disarming smile. "Can you tell? I like you."
"Even if I am gay?" Hajime asked, his voice low, testing the sincerity.
June laughed, a light, genuine sound. "Yes, I didn't choose friends based on sexual orientation." He took a step closer to Hajime, his movement swift and unexpected, and quickly kissed Hajime directly on the lips, a soft, fleeting press. "I'll wait for you at the station. Then you can decide." He turned and walked out of the convenience store, leaving Hajime stunned, a faint lingering warmth on his lips.
Riku, an older colleague at the convenience store, walked over, having observed the exchange with a knowing look. "Hinode-kun, who is that?"
"Amino-san," Hajime said, still a little disoriented, "he is just a classmate."
Riku walked closer to Hajime, leaning against the shelves. "Hinode-kun, when I was your age, I would kiss anyone who wanted to kiss me. I even got myself a nickname."
"Really?" Hajime asked, surprised, a faint flicker of curiosity in his eyes. "What is Amino-san's nickname?"
Riku smiled, a faraway look in his eyes. "The Kiss Collector."
"How many kisses have you collected?" Hajime asked, a small smile touching his lips despite everything.
Riku chuckled, a wistful sound. "Once I hit a thousand, I stopped counting because my doctor told me my blood sugar was too high," he said, reaching into his pocket and placing a single, foil-wrapped Hershey's Kiss in the palm of Hajime's right hand. "Hinode-kun, we only live once, don't wait for luck to come, because if we wait a lifetime, luck will never knock on our doorstep. Take a risk, walk into the unknown, that is what makes the adventure exciting." He sighed, his smile fading slightly. "That was the last word my wife said to me before we parted at the airport. She went back to the US to visit her parents and died in a car accident." He laughed softly, a melancholic sound. "That was a long time ago. I'm still waiting for the day when I will meet her again." He smiled gently at Hajime.
Hajime stared at the chocolate in his palm, its silver wrapper reflecting the fluorescent lights. "Amino-san, thank you," he smiled, a genuine, if small, smile. He pocketed the chocolate kiss, its slight weight a comforting presence, and continued to stack the canned goods.
As soon as Hajime finished stacking the first box, he turned to the left to open the second, and that's when he saw her again. The little girl, waiting a few feet away from him at the end of the aisle. This time, he saw her face clearly—her eyes, too wise for her apparent age, held a piercing intensity. A soft, ethereal light seemed to illuminate all around her, making her appear brighter, more vivid, than everyone else in the mundane convenience store. The little girl smiled, a faint, unsettling curve of her lips, and said, her voice clear and unnervingly close, "Hajime... your time is up."