Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment.
Cross-over from various games, books, anime, manga, and movies.
The familiar characters you see here belong to their respected authors and owners.
"Speech"
Arc 6: Drama In Life - Chapter 10
It has only been a few hours since Blake entered the picture, and I'm honestly surprised I haven't fucked her yet. Even Lucky Pervert hasn't stirred, which is both unusual and, frankly, a little worrying.
Maybe it's because I'm not horny at the moment? No, that's unlikely. I'm pretty much horny nearly every day, like any other reasonably healthy man. It usually depends on the scenery, atmosphere, and view, you could say. And yet… nothing.
I glance from the corner of my eye. Blake stands perfectly still, almost like a statue. She barely blinks, only just enough to keep her eyes from drying out. That kind of restraint, that inhuman stillness, would normally trigger something. But not now.
Maybe it's the Heart of Eldritch. It's been muting my lower brain for a while now, silencing the primal noise and letting my real mind breathe for once, like someone cracked open a window in a suffocating room. It's eerie how clear everything becomes when sexual instinct isn't clawing at your skull every second.
I shift my awareness, slipping into the vision of one of the Eldritch Hounds, peering through its eyes like a passenger in someone else's body.
The scene before me is jarringly bright and loud: Princess Bubblegum's castle is alive with celebration. She's throwing a massive party to commemorate her recent rescue from the Ice King, credit goes to Finn and Jake, of course. Everyone's there, reveling in the party chaos.
Funny enough, Ice King's heart, or rather, Ricardio, still made an appearance somehow.
But he doesn't look like a real anatomical heart this time. No, his body is shaped like the iconic cartoonish heart symbol that represents "love." It's a striking image, especially considering how unsettling he still manages to be. Ricardio is smaller than even the smallest of the Candy People. His face, however, is intensely human, disturbingly detailed. Bold, dramatic eyebrows. Expressive, almost too-real human eyes. A prominent nose, wide lips, and defined cheekbones, all crammed into that tiny, glossy red shape. Yet, like everyone else in this world, he still has those floppy, noodle-like arms and legs.
Unlike in the original timeline, Ricardio's antics are a little different. He gives Lumpy Space Princess a so-called Best Friend Massage by walking across her back before executing a surprisingly elegant flip. The crowd cheers. He tries the same move on Shirahoshi, but it is repeatedly and firmly rejected. At one point, Elizabeth even steps between them like a protective mother bear, her glare enough to send Ricardio wobbling away.
Meanwhile, Paimon is at the buffet table, shoveling sweets into her mouth with almost alarming speed. Pastries, candy canes, frosting-covered everything, it's a sugar-fueled rampage.
And then it hits me.
Wouldn't this be considered cannibalism if the Candy People eat sweets?
The thought blooms in my mind like a rotting flower, grotesque, absurd, and yet not easily dismissed. A Candy Person biting into a donut would be like a human gnawing on a fleshy cousin.
Somehow, that's the most disturbing thing I've seen all day.
I take a single step forward as my vision returns to something resembling normal.
I had fallen from the top of Princess Bubblegum's castle, an intentional drop. Blake followed right after me, without a word of hesitation. She didn't ask why I'd decided to leap from such a height. She simply trusted the decision, or perhaps didn't see the need to question it.
With a snap of my fingers, I tear open a gap in reality just large enough for the two of us. Space splits, clean and silent, like silk parting before a blade. We drop through and land soundlessly behind Ricardio.
He yelps like a kicked plush toy, flinching dramatically at our sudden appearance.
"Jin-sama!" Shirahoshi's eyes light up, catching the glow of the room like pearls kissed by sunlight. Her entire face brightens with joy as she spots me. She floats toward me with urgency, carefully curving around Ricardio's proximity like he's something unpleasant she doesn't want to brush against.
"Good to see you've finally shown up." Elizabeth says, her voice steady, but I catch the shift in her posture. Her shoulders relax, just slightly, betraying a soft sigh of relief. But it doesn't last. Her eyes cut to Blake with sharp focus, dissecting her with a glance. "Hey… who's that?"
She's already piecing it together, possibilities flickering behind her eyes faster than I can open my mouth.
"Is she like us?"
Before I can respond, Paimon explodes into the middle of the conversation like a sugar-fueled cannonball. "Oh! Is she gonna protect Paimon too?!"
She floats forward, crumbs still clinging to her face from the half-devoured buffet she clearly abandoned mid-snack. Her eyes are wide, sparkly, and filled with unfiltered curiosity. She hovers inches from Blake's face, practically vibrating with excitement.
"Paimon thinks that'd be super awesome! Like, personal bodyguard awesome!" She leans in closer, eyes narrowing playfully. "Do you come with snacks too?"
Blake didn't answer Paimon right away. Instead, she turned her head slightly, her gaze drifting to me, waiting, silently, for permission. I caught the flicker of thought on the surface of her mind through Invasion. She wouldn't speak unless allowed.
I gave her a slight nod.
"No." Blake replied flatly, her voice devoid of emotion. Then, without another word, she walked over to my side and stood still, as if she'd always belonged there.
Elizabeth's eyes narrowed, her voice edging with suspicion. "Is she your helper?"
"In a way." I replied, casually. My attention shifted, not because I wanted to ignore Elizabeth, but because something else had tried to slither off when it thought no one was looking.
My gaze snapped to Ricardio, who was attempting the world's worst sneak-out. His exaggerated limbs tiptoed away like a cartoon villain, his big, dramatic face twisted in an expression of hopeful escape.
"And where do you think you're going?" I said, my tone neutral, yet edged with the weight of command.
I use Sai, targeting the Ice King's sentient heart. Ricardio froze as his arms jerked behind his back, but the Heart of Eldritch wasn't content with mere restraint.
Something darker stirred.
From Ricardio's arms, worms erupted—slick, twisted creatures formed entirely of twitching eyeballs. They wriggled and coiled, binding his entire body like a grotesque cocoon. Each eye blinked independently, tracking the others in a spiraling web of watchful chaos. The bindings pulsed with an otherworldly tempo, almost curious in their grip, as if deciding whether to crush or simply stare.
Ricardio shrieked, his voice high and trembling. "AHH! Unhand me, you freaks! This isn't how you treat guests!"
"I wonder…" I murmured, leaning closer, my gaze sinking into his terrified eyes. "Would the Ice King survive if I crushed you to death?"
My smile widened, dark and amused. I found the thought fascinating, not in a sadistic way, but like a child watching something strange under a magnifying glass. Ricardio thrashed in vain, bound by the eldritch worms of sight and thought. Each motion was pitiful, his noodle limbs twitching with theatrical desperation. It was a total waste of effort, but by the great beyond, it was entertaining.
Then a voice cut in.
"Wait, that's the Ice King's heart?!" Princess Bubblegum had just entered the room, her eyes wide with horror, her steps faltering mid-stride. Whatever regal composure she tried to maintain melted instantly.
"What the flip?!" Finn's face looked like it had just imploded in confusion. "How is that even possible?!"
"Should we really be focusing on that and not the guy who could end us all?" Jake was already ducking behind Princess Bubblegum, his stretchy limbs trembling as he peeked over her shoulder. His eyes were locked on me: wide, glistening, terrified.
I could feel the tension ripple through the room like a shifting tide: awe, dread, curiosity, and the strange, sugary scent of Candy People panic beginning to rise like steam.
Blake said nothing. She simply remained at my side, her presence a silent wall.
Paimon, meanwhile, had resumed munching on a gumdrop, as if this entire moment was just background noise.
I snapped my fingers. The effect was immediate; the tremble running through the Candy People was halted, frozen just before it could boil over into chaos. Boundary Manipulation worked like a charm, suppressing their panic-triggered tendency to literally explode from fright.
At least for now. Once I left this place with the girls, that containment would break… and, well, let the sprinkles fall where they may be.
"Would that be a good idea, Jin-sama?" Shirahoshi asked gently, her gaze drifting to Ricardio. A flicker of pity crossed her eyes, only for it to vanish the moment Ricardio met her gaze with a hopeful, pleading smile. She immediately recoiled, floating behind me like a curtain of hesitation. "Ne-Never mind, Jin-sama, you can do whatever you think is reasonable."
"I don't know…" Elizabeth's voice was low, cautious, and with her usual dry sharpness. She leaned slightly toward me, keeping her tone just between us. "Offing the Ice King might not be the best idea—" She tilted her chin toward the trio still frozen near the door. "Not with those guys looking at us like we just kicked over their master plan."
Her eyes locked briefly with Princess Bubblegum, Finn, and Jake. That sarcastic spark in Elizabeth's stare made it obvious she was gauging their reactions as more than just background noise; they were factors, variables, in whatever equation she was already calculating.
Meanwhile, the tension was utterly shattered by—
"These muffins are so tasty!" Paimon blurted out, cheeks puffed like a chipmunk mid-hibernation. At least three muffins were crammed into her mouth simultaneously. She looked like she'd lost a food war and won the same war in the same bite. Crumbs sprayed in every direction as she spoke, frosting smeared across her lips like a child's attempt at lipstick. "Mmmph—Paimon approves! Ten outta ten!" She declared proudly, holding up a sticky thumb. "Needs more frosting, though!" She added, before diving in for another, oblivious to what's going on behind her.
"Hey, I know the Ice King could be bad and all." Finn shouted, stepping forward with a trembling kind of courage. "But that doesn't mean you need to kill him!"
Then he looked directly at Ricardio.
Big mistake.
Finn's eyes locked on the mass of eldritch worms—eyeballs writhing and blinking in impossible patterns as they bound Ricardio tighter. His pupils dilated. His jaw slackened. "Uh, hey, PB… how do we get that—"
Finn doubled over and threw up. Hard. The sound was wet, miserable, and immediate. He swayed, dizzy and pale, like his soul had just tried to evacuate through his stomach.
And he wasn't alone.
Screams erupted like popcorn in a furnace. Candy People everywhere collapsed, flailing, their bodies glitching and melting. Eyeballs popped from sockets with horrible plop sounds. One poor cupcake tried to scream and only managed a sound like a broken kazoo before folding in half like wet paper.
Even Princess Bubblegum wasn't spared. Her face twisted in revulsion just before her entire tongue slid right out of her mouth and hit the floor with a moist slap.
I raised a brow and sighed through my nose, already undoing the Kido spell before things got worse. I wasn't worried about the mortals—well, not too worried, but I didn't want the feedback affecting the girls.
Shirahoshi might be fine… or not. Still a mystery.
Elizabeth and Paimon, though? That was a risk I wasn't willing to take.
The spell unraveled. The eldritch worms dissolved like vapor, dragging the atmosphere with them. The panic didn't vanish, but it froze, like someone had slammed the pause button on a nightmare.
"Well." I said dryly, lips twitching upward in amusement as I looked around at the chaos. "That was something."
Paimon, without missing a beat, was still munching on a muffin, now sitting cross-legged on the edge of the table like none of this had ever happened.
"Paimon didn't even notice!" She chirped through a full mouth, spraying crumbs in a neat 120-degree arc. "What'd Paimon miss?"