Beta read by Shigiya, Gamercrusher55 and Paragon of Awesomeness.
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(A Few Days Earlier)
The small café of Copenhagen was bustling with activity, the air filled with the rich aroma of freshly ground coffee and the faint hum of background music. Shirou moved with practiced ease behind the counter, his hands a blur as he prepared orders with practiced precision. A rarity for him to have moments like this—moments where his mind wasn't weighed down by the stressful thoughts concerning the war. Instead, his thoughts were focused solely on perfecting each customer's order.
"Oi, Shirou! Another ice cream sundae for table two and a black coffee for table five!" Otoko's voice cut through the noise, her tone laid-back as usual. She leaned against the counter, her arms crossed as she watched him work.
"Got it! Will be ready in five minutes!" he called back, already moving toward the coffee machine. He unpacked a fresh bag of coffee beans, the rich scent filling his nostrils as he began grinding them. The rhythmic sound of the grinder blended with the background music, creating a soothing ambiance. "I'll bring the coffee to the table myself. You can take the ice cream parfait," he added, glancing over at Neko.
She raised an eyebrow. "Oi, who's supposed to be the boss here again?"
He shrugged, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "Who knows at this point?" He slid a plate across the counter toward her, the ice cream sundae perfectly assembled. "It's less work for you, so I don't see any reason to complain."
Otoko scoffed, picking up the plate. "Cocky brat. If it were anyone else, they'd have gotten punched in the face for that."
"What did I tell you about smoking again?" Shirou shot back without looking back, getting the woman to freeze up for a brief moment but then shot him a mean glare.
"Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture," she muttered dismissively after taking the plate, though there was no real bite to her words, her mouth twitched like she was fighting a smirk. She turned on her heel and headed toward the customer's table, her movements brisk.
He chuckled, knowing Otoko had been making an effort to cut back on smoking lately, though she was too stubborn to admit it. Not like he was going to make fun of her just for trying, unsure where this shyness came from it was better to just act ignorant. Instead of making just one coffee, he decided to prepare two, carefully balancing the cups as he made his way to a table near the window.
Seated there was a woman who seemed to command the attention of everyone in the room when she first appeared — mostly in part to the expensive-looking dress. The long blonde wavy hair styled in drills and the fact she kept looking at a jewel so openly for the past minute certainly attracted a few attention.
Thankfully Clown was not here, Shirou was certain his appearance alone would drive all customers away from the establishment. It's not that the man deliberately tried to intimidate everyone around, but still,
"I must say," Luvia began, her voice smooth and melodic, "I never really got the opportunity to try your coffee when we first met. I had no idea you were so gifted with such things, Shero." She took a sip, her expression one of pure bliss. "This is exquisite! Even my family's chef has never managed to make anything as such! There must be a secret to this… a premium ingredient you sourced from somewhere beyond our reach?"
Shirou placed the second cup on the opposing chair, took a seat, and smiled at her reaction — taking pride in his creation.
"Glad to see you liked it. But unfortunately, Copenhagen is a small shop with a limited budget, these beans are grown in the southern regions like Okinawa or Kagoshima. Its taste is not exactly considered the best compared to coffee beans from Ethiopia or countries from South America." He explained calmly, getting a confused look from Luvia who took another sip just to check.
"Then how…?"
He smirked, "Guess."
A rare pout came onto her face, perhaps taking it as a challenge she concentrated and tried to come up with an answer but failed every time. Some of her guesses included having beans from other countries grown locally, him adding spices secretly, or even straight-up lying.
Her face became more and more red from embarrassment after each failed attempt until he let out a small chuckle. "Sherou! Leading a maiden by the nose like this is no manner befitting a gentleman. I taught you better than this!"
What was she? His mother?
"Honestly, I thought as a genius magus you would have noticed it by now."
"Eh?" That got another reaction out of her, this time most likely using a few basic spells on the beverage.
"I reinforced the coffee grounds."
"..."
All he got was a look making him think she was assessing whether she heard him correctly or not. "It's true, just a small experiment I guess."
"... How does that even work? At best it should increase the nourishment, but changing the taste itself? Unlikely."
"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how it works," he admitted with a shrug. "First time I tried it on the beans, the blender broke. Then I thought, 'Why not the liquid?' Turns out, that wasn't good either. So I figured, why not the grounds? Seemed like a good way to practice my magecraft while working. Somehow, it clicked. Oh, and I threw in a pinch of salt and a drizzle of honey—just to see what would happen. Guess it came out better than I expected."
She set the cup down, her eyes widening so dramatically that Shirou half-expected them to pop out of her head. "You're hired," she declared, slamming her palm on the table with enough force to make the coffee cups shudder. "I'll double whatever this quaint little shop pays you, and you'll have full access to the Edelfelt family's resources for your magecraft. Consider it a mutually beneficial arrangement."
Shirou raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess—I'd also have to wear a stuffy suit and call you 'milady'?"
She smirked, clearly enjoying herself. "Only if you want to keep your job."
Shirou blinked, caught off guard by the sudden offer but then shook his head. "I'll have to pass on that, Luvia. Don't think your family will even be happy to see me, especially your sister."
"Oh please, she has not even noticed her book was even gone in the first place." He got the feeling that that wasn't exactly true. "I can even grant you a seat at the Clocktower where you can study under any teacher of your desire with just a single recommendation letter from my family. Many aspiring third-rate mages dream of such an opportunity to not only enhance their abilities but also form connections."
There was merit to what she offered, he truly struggled in the beginning without a proper teacher after his father passed away. Even the book Luvia gave him had little effect on him learning any other spell than what he already knew.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass. Besides, even if I did say yes, wouldn't that mean handing over my Servant to you along with my dignity? That's the real reason you're here, isn't it?"
"
Luvia did not deny it, instead humming slightly. "It is an ideal outcome for you, my dear Sherou. But you are mistaken if that is solely why I came here today, I truly did want to see you on your regular day. It is half the time more entertaining than watching Rin Tohsaka try to hold herself back from letting her more gorilla-like traits to take over whenever I merely come to greet her."
The more he heard about these two, the more he started to believe they were no different from water and oil or each other's natural enemies. Actually, after spending some time with Rin during those study sessions, he did see some similarities between the two as well.
"I won't be giving her up nor will I quit this war."
"Then you are a fool," She answered with some frustration leaking into her voice. "I am doing this for your own good, while it is commendable that you believe you have a powerful enough Servant to aid you on your journey, the same applies to everyone else. Most masters have definitely brought a catalyst with them maximizing the chances of them acquiring the strongest Servant, Caster alone seems like a great threat already. Even a washed-up magus family like the Tohsaka most definitely have quite the catalyst."
"I know it won't be easy, but I won't know if I don't try." Not once was he under the illusion of being able to accomplish his goals without meeting various obstacles on his path, his recent meeting with Caster just reinforced the boy's desire to put an end to this war before it spiraled out of control once more.
"The Einzbern will be participating, you realize that?" Luvia added at the end, Her face becoming grave. His eyes narrowed, as she continued talking. "I already shared with you as much as I could about them. We both know the length I went just to get the smallest crumbs of information about them and given their ancestor's involvement with the creation of the Grail, it is guaranteed they will be here."
"That means she will be here." He commented, feeling a bit strange when thinking about this person he never met. 'The old man's own daughter' he finalized everything he knew within his thoughts leading to one conclusion, 'Someone he occasionally brought up during his last moments.'
"Do you think…"
"Possibly, she has never left the castle from what I gathered and there must be a reason why they kept her inside all the time. My guess is that she won't be alone, the abandoned castle on the outskirts of this town has also been renovated according to my sources."
"Is that so," at this moment, two sides of him were battling in his mind. On one hand, he wanted to go over there and just tell her the truth, to reveal everything that happened on his side and hope she would understand. But another part of him knew that even if he tried to do so, would she even believe him? Would she not just think of him as a liar, a thief who stole her father or even a replacement Kiritsugu found in her stead?
He did not want to fight her, this option being the very last thing he wanted to do.
"You still never mentioned to me what this is all about," Luvia said, finishing the cup of coffee he served her and sneakily talking to him without making it obvious. "Please forgive me for being shameless with what I'm about to say, but I do believe all of my efforts so far warrant me the right to an answer from you. While it was a favor on my end, my curiosity is getting the best of me. After all, you're not talking about a small magi clan. The Einzbern are amongst the oldest Magus family, I am pretty certain whoever they have sent will be coming after me soon."
"Are you in danger?" He asked worriedly, This time getting the blonde to chuckle.
"Oh Sherou, You are barely able to protect yourself even with a servant and yet you are worried about me? That's cute."
"Even if there's just a sliver of a chance you could get hurt, I'd rather not risk it. You're important to me, and that means I'm going to worry about you, no matter how little I can actually do to protect you."
"..."
She went quiet for a few seconds. A complicated gaze formed on her stunned face before she sighed. "Why is it that I know you are not lying to me or trying to use flowery words just to get close to me? Knowing that you are being sincere makes it even worse …you will get yourself killed one day with such an attitude."
"You already said that before."
"And I will keep saying it until you begin to understand my worry."
For someone who constantly mentioned that magus in general should not be trusted so easily due to their cold nature, she sure was quite caring.
'Which was why she deserved to know the truth.'
"Illya is my sister, my father's true daughter, Kiritsugu Emiya who was famed as the Magus Killer, as well as-"
"Pft!"
"-the Master for the Einzberns ten years ago."
Good thing this conversation started quite a while ago, for it gave the coffee enough time to cool down and not burn his face off the moment she sprayed it on him…well as much.
{Break}
(Present)
This was not going to be an easy situation to get out of, such thoughts roamed Rider's mind the moment she spotted the presence of another Servant that was not Caster. One who carried a far more dominating presence than the latter and immediately felt a sense of familiarity upon seeing him. 'Another one?'
The possibility of three Heroic Spirits summoned from the same period of time and land was not that odd but certainly worrisome given it narrowed down the list of names of Heroic Spirits that matched the description of Berserker.
Most of them were monsters in their own right, this one being far more dangerous than even Medea if what she overheard about his parameters from Shirou were true. She could feel the power emanating from him, and it did not bode well.
'Shirou, I don't advise fighting this one when protecting the others. We should find a way to get Sakura and Rin to safety first.' Using their link, she sent her thoughts on the matter. If a battle were to erupt, that required her to go completely all out, and then use her full strength, that was a slippery slope she preferred to avoid given future consequences.
Crouched low, her body tense and ready for action regardless.
Her priority was to keep Shirou safe in the end. Secondly, Sakura. Behind her stood Rin and Sakura, the former frantically trying to come up with a plan while the latter looked at the top of the hill where Berserker's Master was. Rider's sharp eyes never left the hulking figure of the enemy Servant, whose monstrous presence loomed over the battlefield like a storm cloud.
Rin's voice cut through the silence, her tone steady despite the overwhelming odds. "We need to find a way out of here. Fighting him head-on isn't an option." Her words were calm, and calculated, and Rider couldn't help but feel a flicker of admiration for the young mage. Most mages in this era would have crumbled under the pressure, but Rin was holding her ground, her mind racing to find a solution.
Rider's opinion of Rin had already been high after watching her for a while, but it had risen even further after witnessing the girl's unwavering resolve to protect Sakura. Even without a Servant of her own, Rin had thrown herself into danger without hesitation, willing to risk her life for Sakura's welfare. It was a rare quality, especially among mages.
But for now, the purple-haired Servant pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind. She needed to focus on the present. Things were about to get messy, especially after she heard the boy call the bloodthirsty little girl in front of him "big sister."
"Did I hear that right?" Rin muttered under her breath. "Maybe my ears got damaged during the escape."
Even Sakura seemed stunned, her eyes widening in disbelief, but her questions were quickly dispelled when the girl, Illya, began to chuckle. "Hehehe, calling me a big sister like that… how strange, what a strange feeling this is, I don't particularly hate it."
Though her smile wasn't as bright as before, the young little girl still seemed confident, even with a gun pointed at her head. "You came in at the right time," she said, her voice eerily calm. "I was just about to decapitate these two pretty flowers and send their heads to you as a gift. Wouldn't you like that? Though it would be interesting to see your face if I order Berserker to have his way with them, including your Servant, before killing them."
The words sent a chill down Rider's spine. Whoever this Master was, she was not lying and genuinely meant those words, saying them with a smile on her face. She sensed Sakura behind her freezing up with Rin trying to comfort the poor girl. The girl's appearance was that of a child, but her demeanor was far older, far more sinister. She spoke with a casual cruelty that was unsettling as if the lives of Rin and Sakura were nothing more than playthings to her.
Rider tightened her grip on her weapon, her mind racing. "Stay behind me," Rider said, her voice low but firm. "We'll handle this. Don't try anything and keep Sakura close."
"You don't have to tell me that," Rin mumbled, hands rummaging through her pocket and letting out an ugly expression. "Damn it, I'm practically out of gems. My spells won't do any damage to a Servant, so I really have no choice but to trust in Shirou… oh God we're doomed."
▃▃▅▅!
Berserker let out an enraged roar, turning his attention to Shirou with the red glow in his eyes growing more eerie and the madness showing no signs of calming down. He moved. Grabbing his weapon without showing any signs of stopping and moved to attack Shirou even when the latter had a gun pushed against the head of his Master.
"No!"
Rider acted, throwing her chains which wrapped around the blade, and pulled on it, stopping the Servant from advancing and turning his attention to her. Growling with rage, he pulled his hand away trying to break free. Forcing Rider's feet to dig into the ground. Her grip was loosening even as she tried to summon more strength with her skills, but it was not enough.
"Please stop this, Illya." Shirou said once more, practically pleading with the girl, "I did not come here to find you or hurt you in any way. Please just let me explain everything."
"Bold of you to assume that you can charge me in the first place. You may have a beautiful-looking servant, but she won't be of any threat against Berserker." She spoke matter-of-factly, not one bit concerned about her own life at that moment. "And if I don't stop, will you even be able to hurt me? From the beginning, you could have shot me and taken out one group from the war entirely. Yet here you are talking to me."
There were doubts lingering in Rider's mind as she stared at the boy, would he truly be able to pull the trigger on someone he just called his sister? No matter how much she tried to reason with it, the person known as Shirou Emiya just never gave her that kind of impression.
He was not cold-blooded and she worried that Berserker's Master would take advantage of this.
'Shirou, I'll keep Berserker distracted and you grab the others and ru—'
'I will handle it.' Much to her shock, he shot down that idea within their link as soon as she was prepared to go on the offense. Her eyes hidden behind the blindfold widened in disbelief with both girls getting confused about her reaction. 'She is not our enemy, Illya is just… confused. I don't want to worsen this more than it already is and the best way to avoid any more conflict is for me to confront her alone.'
'Don't be ridiculous!' At that moment, a rare moment of anger seeped into her words, once again taken by surprise at her Master's illogical decision at the moment. 'You will be killed in seconds, your magecraft won't help against a Servant like Berserker and the Master herself is most likely a competent Magus!'
'I told you, I'm not going to fight her.' He repeated his prior words again. 'Even if we went on a full-on fight against Berserker, do you think we can win while keeping everyone safe? Do you think you can win against him? Can you even guarantee me that you will come out of it alive?'
'...'
There was silence, for Rider knew she could guarantee a victory against this Heroic Spirit. But incapacitating him was a possibility, even in her current state she held confidence to at least be able to perform that much whether it required unleashing her Noble Phantasm or not. As for her own chances of survival, she wanted to be optimistic but if this Heroic Spirit truly was who she believed then her chances were not that high.
'I can slow him down and give the three of you enough time to escape. That is my duty as a Servant, this is war and there are bound to be risks we must be willing to take in order to survive.' She tried again to persuade him to change his decision, clenching her weapon and causing the chains to rattle.
Unfortunately, all she saw was the boy looking at her with an all too familiar smile blooming on his face. Raising his other arm with the three glowing crimson Command Seals fully on display. "Rider, please take Rin and Sakura away somewhere safe and wait for my return. I will not ask you a second time."
Those words he spoke out loud shocked everyone around, including Illya who was also taken aback.
"Are you fucking insane, Emiya!?" Rin shouted loudly, having managed to gather herself and stand back on her feet. "I don't know what's going on here nor what the hell is your real ties with the Einzbern, but this is just being stupid! That bitch is clearly trying to kill us all!"
"Please don't do this, Senpai!"
Even Sakura joined in, looking far more terrified by his decision than anyone else.
"Trust me, Rider."
"..."
Rider did not say a word, facing Shirou as if she were looking at him straight in the eyes. Trying to find something within them, the mark glowing brightly for a second with his expression not faltering once — he was serious. At that moment more than ready to use those seals to get her to follow his order. She bit her lips as in the next moment her chains around Berserker's sword loosened and returned to her hands.
"No… you can't agree with this, Rider!" Sakura exclaimed, finding herself and Rin swiftly grabbed by the purple-haired woman with the latter not even looking at her once. Rushing within the forest at great speed and leaving Shirou behind. "S-Stop! You're supposed to protect him! Put us down! Rider! Please listen to me!"
Sakura's voice echoed within Rider's ears, and a myriad of emotions swelled within her heart. Emotions she had not felt for a long time and some even completely new to her.
"Please forgive me, Sakura."
.
.
.
'She's going to be mad at me.' Shirou said to himself as he watched all three of them disappear within the woods with Sakura's voice slowly fading away.
"You sent away your only form of protection against me, I don't know whether to call you brave or an idiot, Onii-chan," Illya said, turning around to finally face him for the first time. At that moment, golden brown eyes stared back at crimson, she looked no different from the pictures that Kiritsugu had shown him years ago.
Had not aged a bit, except the smile on her face no longer looking as warm or innocent as from those his late father had stashed away. The gun in his hand felt heavy, impossibly so that the mere sight of it held against her face revolted him. So without much hesitation, he lowered his arm and gently dropped the gun onto the ground.
"What is this? Finally, accepted your own demise at the hands of my Servant? Tch, I would have liked it if you struggled a bit more, it's boring if my enemies give up so easily. Not that I can fault you, Berserker does look very scary. Or are you hoping to do a suicide attack and hope to take both of us down to save your friends? I will say it now, it won't work."
With a single flip of her hair, several strands floated above and took shape. Transforming into ethereal-looking swords and birds that hovered around them.
Shirou paid no attention to what she said nor her actions, instead having the same smile on his face, he whispered quietly. "You haven't changed at all, Nee-san. The old man would have been happy to see you here in Fuyuki again, he missed you a lot."
"Humph, trying to guilt me or beg for mercy? Cute. If Papa actually cared, he wouldn't have tossed me aside and found a shiny new replacement so quickly."
"He didn't… he never abandoned you."
He recalled the inner conflict he experienced just recently whenever thinking about meeting Illya for the first time. Presented with a few choices on how their interaction could be, from an active approach where he could try to make it impossible for her to continue fighting in the war without a Servant to a peaceful one.
Even if her Servant had been someone else, right now facing her for the first time he realized that the former was never an option he could have chosen.
"The old man always kept thinking about you. Even in his ill state, where at times he could not even walk for more than a few minutes, he kept trying to find ways to save you. Pushing his body beyond its limits multiple times while also making sure I would not accidentally kill myself."
"What nonsense are you babbling about…" She frowned, not liking everything he said or perhaps not wanting to believe them. "Don't think lies will help you to get out of the situation."
"I am not lying," Shirou insisted, hoping there were ways where he could just show her everything from his own point of view during these last years. "He always loved you, making his life goal to one day save you from the Einzberns and bring you back to Fuyuki so that we could be a family. But he was dying, growing weaker every day till even in his last moments he couldn't get out of the house. He had you in mi—"
"Enough! Berserker!"
The hulking figure of the maddened Servant appeared in between them, sword raised above his head with the redhead not even moving an inch from his spot. Watching the weapon descend upon him with great force, threatening to cut him through until the very last moment when it changed course and struck the ground in front of him. The shockwave propelled the man backward like a rag doll, crashing through multiple trees till he came to a stop.
"Hngh!" Even with reinforcement, that still hurts like hell. At this point, Shirou was certain that if he was hit by that, it would've killed him. Not even the regenerative he has would've saved him from it. But she paid them no mind, gathering his strength to get back up while using the trunk for support.
"Are you scared yet, Onii-chan~?" Her voice was sweet, almost mocking, as if she were teasing a child. "Next time, I won't miss. I'll take your head clean off. Oh, don't worry—I'll keep you alive, though. Wouldn't it be fun to watch your friends meet their end from inside a nice little doll? Or are you going to keep acting like a fool? I suggest you stop underestimating me and fight me seriously." She tilted her head, her crimson eyes glinting with cold hatred.
To that, he let out a small chuckle. Tasting the metallic taste of blood within his mouth, something he had grown used to by now.
"What kind of brother would hurt his big sister?" Back on his feet, the redhead limped forward, walking back to Illya despite Berserker still being there. "Sometimes I had dreams of what our family would look like. What if you were there with us? I never had an older sibling, always seeing and hearing others talk about them sometimes made me curious about how we would have been. Though I have to admit having Fuji-nee around made me feel like I could understand somewhat, I bet you and she could make a great big sister duo."
"Stop, this is disgusting," Illya growled, looking more angry by the second.
"Kiritsugu traveled to Germany so many times, always coming back looking weaker and more miserable than before. He wanted to save you more than anyone else, that is not the actions of a man who would abandon you."
"Stop lying!"
Berserker moved again, this time not using his sword and instead sweeping his legs with his own were bigger than the pillars themselves. Even bringing up his arm made no difference, he watched as they snapped, and in an instant, the wind pressure had and once again sent him flying.
His vision went black for a second til he regained consciousness, in his state the boy watched the stone-like sword that was placed next to a tree near him. Glossing over every single detail and finding himself lost for a moment with everything he kept receiving from just a glance.
A headache growing the more he looked, in an evergreen basked in twilight stretching farther than the eye could see, the space shimmered. From up a hill where a few weapons gathered, another presence slowly made its way in.
In the dark about this addition or even too focused to care, Shirou walked past the sword and always kept his eyes on Illya. Not once showing anger or any desire to harm them within — just an emotion the girl could not decipher.
Spitting out a mouthful of blood, he continued to speak. "On the day he died, I was with him. We were looking at the moon and the stars in the night sky, it was beautiful and he smiled when talking about you and your mother. He told me many things that I want to share with you and plenty of things he regretted doing in his life."
His figure, getting more and more soaked in blood, tried to approach Illya, who, shaken by the boy's illogical actions, found herself taking a step back. Berserker on the other hand no longer growled or even showed any aggression, observing Shirou the entire time.
Perhaps not even seeing him as a threat to him or his Master, Shirou was not sure — hopefully the second one.
"... Stay away."
"We talked about a lot of things, his dreams and mine, the things we wanted to do, and what we found beautiful."
"... I said stay back!"
"We talked about the world, our beliefs, the people we loved… and make no mistake, one of them was you. And… and on that night I made him promises that I don't regret." With little distance separating them, he extended his hand in an opening gesture to the disturbed girl. "One of these promises was to accomplish what he couldn't do, to save you, Nee-san."
Despite his best efforts or maybe even due to his appearance, he did not see the reaction he hoped from her. For a brief moment, there was fear and she resembled the young child she appeared to be… someone who was afraid to believe him.
"Come back with me, you have a home here."
That was the final nail in the coffin that pushed Illya away at that moment.
"B-Berserker!" She stumbled onto her words and Shirou felt a powerful gust of wind hit his face. Protecting his eyes with his only functioning arm, he opened them back in a few seconds when his surroundings calmed down to discover an empty space where Illya was.
She left.
A heavy sense of disappointment rose within him. He hoped that maybe… maybe he could have managed to convince her.
A certain individual walked from outside her hiding place in the forest towards him. She had been watching everything and now that it had concluded, she began to slowly disappear back in the distance. He could see her drill blonde hair swaying in the wind.
{Break}
(A few minutes later)
Within Shirou's house, Rider stood outside waiting for the past few minutes. Minutes that felt like hours with each passing moment making her resolve to disobey his orders grow by the second.
Rin and Sakura were inside, and the latter continuously begged her to go after him with tears rolling down her face.
Rider felt like she couldn't face Sakura. A sense of shame grew within whenever she glanced back, Rin kept her quiet, having already tried on multiple occasions to speak with her but only getting no attention from her.
Rider paid close attention to the contract between her and Shirou, it was still present and thus signified that he was still alive. She tried to think of a reason why he chose to confront that clearly dangerous Master by himself.
Regardless if she was his sister or not.
'What is the point of following his orders if he dies?' She said to herself, in the end ending up agreeing with that notion and starting to feel regret for even listening to him before.
Yet just as she was about to go back to his side again, the woman spotted a figure far away making its way to the house slowly. Immediately her figure vanished, in less than a second closing the distance and reappearing before him.
"Ah, Rider. Glad to see you, I guess the others must be safe now. Hahaha… sorry I took so long, the conversation didn't go as well as I would have ho—hn!" Not giving him the opportunity to finish his phrase, she grabbed him by the collar and pushed him against a nearby wall — his feet dangling in the air.
"Why."
She asked the one question occupying her mind at that moment. Letting her anger take control of both her voice and movement. Having never felt this way for a very… very long time.
She knew that her Master understood what she asked and would not let him go till he gave her a satisfactory answer.
"I know Illya wanted to kill me. That she looks dangerous and might even be that to some degree but with enough time I'm sure I can convince her to—"
"That's not what I asked!" She shouted, catching even him off guard by how loud her voice was. "Why did you give me such an order!? Do you think I'm incapable as a Servant!? Do you think I'm weak!?"
Regardless of how she wanted to separate herself from her monstrous side and never let it control her mind again — she still was more than able to admit it being a major source of her powers. Her strength was by no means weaker than Berserker had she chosen to let go, so to be treated as a fragile vase did not sit well with her.
Shirou hesitated at first, keeping his silence which only irked her more.
Being this close to slapping his face multiple times or just punching him once.
"I will not let you go until you tell me."
Finally, he seemed to have conceded and let out a tired sigh, turning his head away and scratching his face awkwardly. "... I don't think of you as weak, Rider."
"Sure looks like that to me. Have you any idea how distraught Sakura was? Had it not been for Rin, she would have gone after you at any given chance. So tell me the truth right now, or I swear I will hit you." It was strange to feel herself getting this worked up. Even her sisters never managed to force such a specific wave of emotions out of her as this stupid boy did. It was both confusing and infuriating.
"Far from it. At that moment, you were the one I trusted the most to keep Sakura and Rin safe from both Berserker and other Servants. I knew as long as you were there with them, then nothing would happen to the girls."
"Then what about you? Had you died then I would have been gone soon after."
He actually started to pout when she said that, "It's not like I was planning to die or anything. I still very much plan to stay alive at least until this war is over. And well… even if I died then Sakura or Rin could have become your Master. So that's one less thing to worry about. I need to speak with Illya as well, so I did not wish to give her any reason to doubt my sincerity."
"Are you even hearing yourself?"
What kind of man would be so casual about his own death? Even in that kind of scenario, he worried about her instead of himself!
"And also, when I saw Berserker, I just knew the chances of you dying were high. That… thing gave me a really bad feeling, far worse than Caster and I wished to avoid risking your life just for me. I didn't want to lose you… "
"What?" She felt as if she heard this before, but this time it was different. Hit face first with the understanding that the boy was more than ready to throw his life away just for her was mind-boggling.
"Besides… I'm alive, right? So it all turned out good in the end, I also still had my Command Seals after all hahaha!" He tried to lighten up the atmosphere but she was not going to fall for it.
He was not regretful, he did not think how outrageous his way of thinking was nor did he seem to care about his current state at all. He truly believed this to have been the right course of action.
"You honestly don't see anything wrong with your action?" She asked, hoping for an answer that would prove her wrong. "You won't be able to help Sakura if you're dead, don't you see that? Who would save that girl you tried to help tonight?"
"Again, you're making it sound like I was planning on dying today," he argued back, though his words held little sway in them to make her think otherwise. "As I said, I trust you to keep her safe. But… I guess you're right about Illya. I'll do better next time."
"No, there won't be a 'next time'." She tightened her grip on his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. "You need to trust me to also be able to keep you safe and not just the others. Care a bit more about your own life. Because I also don't want you to die, do you understand that?"
She noted how his face blushed at their close proximity. Even with his body heavily wounded, he managed to react like that, she did not comment on it, and at any other time, she would've found it funny and cute, but not this time.
"I understand what you're trying to say, Rider, I really do. But I cannot just sit back and allow you or anyone else to put themselves in danger for me, just the thought of people dying while I lived hurts me deeply, especially when their people I care about. So I will put my trust in you but you should also trust me that I'll be able to come out alive next time. Even if a bit beaten up."
"..."
Her anger fizzled out when she came to a realization, something she suspected before but turned out it was far worse than she had ever imagined it to be.
"Shirou, there is something terribly wrong with you."
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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, and my other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters, Steel Eyed Faker soon to be 3 chapters, Hound having 3 and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.