Knocks on the car window startled Misha, who had been dozing off on the lowered passenger seat, into sitting up straight. He moved so fast that he forgot about how tall he was and how low the ceiling was. A loud thud resounded as he hit the crown of his head against the roof. Wincing, he clutched his poor head as he peered at the window, only to meet eyes with Gabriel. He was pinching his lips, obviously stifling a laugh. It made the throbbing pain throb even more in his skull, drawing a grimace out of Misha. If Gabriel wanted to laugh, he should just laugh! No need to try to be thoughtful. It was more annoying than anything.
"Are you alright?" Gulnas asked, her worried voice appeasing Misha's irritation ever so slightly. She carefully patted his shoulder, stretching her back to get a glimpse of Misha's head. "That was a loud thud. Do you think you'll get a bump?"
"No, I'm fine. The car is just too small," Misha grumbled before chasing his mother's hand away and rolling down the window, turning his attention to Gabriel. "What are you doing here? Tristan's surgery shouldn't even have started yet."
"Glad to see you too," Gabriel chuckled as he leaned against the window frame, nodding to Gulnas as a greeting. "The preparations are mostly done, and he's about to enter the surgery room. Don't make that face. I didn't leave my little brother alone until the medical staff warned me it was time for everyone to leave his room and go to the waiting area."
"Then why are you here?" Misha doubled down. "The parking lot isn't exactly what I'd call the hospital waiting room."
"Well, the waiting room is a little noisy right now, and I felt like stretching my legs," Gabriel coughed. "Don't worry, Jake will call me when the surgery is over, and I'll rush back inside."
Oh, right. Angela was most likely acting like the entitled brat that she was, and with Jake playing his persona… The waiting room should be akin to hell right now. Misha had a hunch that Gabriel used the excuse of going to meet him to escape his stepmother and brother. Not like he'd complain. He needed Gabriel's company more than ever, especially since Masha hadn't been able to free herself from her job. Alexey, too, hadn't been able to take the day off. However, Misha was less close to his father, and his absence didn't impact him just as much as his sister's. He was used to having Masha by his side when Gabriel couldn't be, and when she wasn't in the vicinity, she left a void. Perhaps because he had spent so many years without her in his first life, Misha was always uneasy deep down when his sister was off living her life. And with the high-level stress situation he was in, that feeling was exacerbated a thousand times.
At the very least, his mother had come with him, but she wasn't Gabriel. There were things he could not tell her, and it didn't feel right to show her his weak side. As for Gabriel? In Misha's mind, it was his role as his future boyfriend to take care of him when he was down and be the shoulder on which he leaned. He had no claims whatsoever about burdening him with his feelings or weaknesses.
But unfortunately, Misha had to restrain himself from going octopus-like and jumping on Gabriel for a hug. Although Gulnas was aware he was very close with Gabriel, he technically was only the man's girlfriend's little brother. There were lines he couldn't cross, and he didn't trust himself not to go overboard this morning. It was also why he behaved more rudely than usual, as he didn't know what action was 'normal' to do in the current situation. Since Gabriel had always indulged his clingy habit, Misha didn't know what kind of distance would be considered as proper between them. Sadly, he wasn't a kid anymore, and he couldn't act like a koala whenever and wherever it pleased him.
"Can I come in?" Gabriel asked, snapping Misha out of his thoughts. "It's quite windy today."
"Yeah, sure," Misha nodded. "Jump in."
"Well, thank you," Gabriel smiled before walking around to open the door of the back seat on the conductor's side. He could not enter from the passenger's side as Misha's lowered seat was in the way. Being as tall as Misha, he'd need to contort his body to pass over, and considering how tired he was and how stiff his muscles felt, it was a 'no thank you' for him. As Misha rolled the window back up, the door closed with a loud thud. Seconds later, Gabriel wormed his way to the middle, sitting right next to Misha. "You can't go back to sleep. I'd wake you up when it's time."
"I wasn't sleeping…"
The words were barely audible as Misha curled up on the seat, bringing his knees to his chest. It wasn't the most comfortable position, making him realize once again how tall he had grown. He glanced at Gabriel's face, one thousand thoughts passing through his mind. He hadn't seen him since the day they rushed to the doctor on Jake's order. He noticed dark circles were etched under his eyes, and he seemed to have lost some weight. Wasn't he the one who kept on telling him that everything would be fine over the phone and that there was nothing to worry about? The procedure had a high success rate, and the brain surgeon operating on Tristan was well-known in the field for his skills.
Well, would you look at that? It seemed like Gabriel had been comforting himself just as much as he had been comforting others. Or so Misha thought. And while his mind was wandering, his mouth moved on its own, blurting out:
"You look horrible."
"Misha!" Gulnas nudged her son, smiling apologetically at Gabriel. "Sorry, he's been a bit on edge these past few days."
"Don't worry about it," Gabriel waved her worry off before turning his attention back to Misha. His voice was soft, but the words were biting. "And you look like a sleep-deprived panda."
"I'd rather look like a sleep-deprived panda than a zombie," Misha pursed his lips into a pout before letting out a small laugh. He couldn't deny Gabriel's words, for he wasn't the only one with dark circles etched under his eyes. And with Misha's pale skin and crystal-clear blue eyes, they were blatantly obvious. Unlike Gabriel, he didn't have glasses to help hide them. Anyone could tell at a glance he hadn't had a good night's sleep for days. Anxiety made it hard for him to fall asleep, and whenever he did manage to catch a bit of rest, he'd wake up in panic, thanks to nightmares. He had lost count of the number of times he dreamed of a dead Tristan on the operating table, his eyes bulging and his skull open. It was an image that was hard to chase from his mind and haunted him, even when he was wide-awake.
The lack of sleep was taking its toll on Misha's body as much as anxiety was. He hadn't felt this uneasy since the fateful day his mother was supposed to die. He never thought he'd ever feel this fearful again. But here he was, unable to function properly because of stress.
"You really should try to take a nap," Gabriel gently said, brushing a few blond strands off his forehead. "What will Tristan think after seeing you like this?"
Misha's mouth twitched. It wasn't a few hours of sleep that would make his skin glow again. If anything, he needed a few days of rest, and honestly, a nap would only worsen the exhausted look on his face. He could already tell that dozing off and letting his consciousness drift in and out would only make him feel even more tired.
"How about looking into the mirror first?" Misha snorted. "I'm pretty sure you need more sleep than I. I wouldn't be surprised if you fainted any moment now."
"Do I really look that bad?"
As an answer, Misha pointed to the rear mirror, and Gabriel stretched his neck to take a look at his reflection. He hadn't paid much attention to his appearance these past few days, going around with the usual routine without stopping to observe himself in the mirror. But maybe he should have. The dark circles under his eyes were glaring, although his glasses did a good job at hiding them. The frame outlined the hollowed eye sockets almost perfectly. Although from Misha's angle, they did nothing to conceal the darkened skin.
"I think both of you need rest," Gulnas sighed. "And no relying on caffeine to stay awake today. I'll wake you up when Gabriel's phone starts to ring."
"Mom," Misha glanced at his mother, a 'what is wrong with you' kind of look on his face, "if Gabriel falls asleep, you won't be able to wake him up. You can scream and kick him, and he won't even flinch! A bucket of ice-cold water doesn't even do the trick!"
"…When did you throw a bucket of cold water on my face?"
Misha flinched. He turned his head and whistled, pretending he hadn't heard Gabriel's question. It wasn't like he could say he did it in the first timeline in front of his mother. And it wasn't like he did it only once, either.
"Anyway," Misha not so subtly changed the subject, "let's just put the radio on and wait. It's not like we can do much else."
That said, Misha bent over and put the radio on, switching to a channel that was oriented more toward music than politics. He didn't feel like hearing people complain about this or that and just wanted to distract his mind. Soon enough, the car was filled with a song. The singer's voice was soft and calming, lulling Misha as he closed his eyes to rest. He might not want to sleep, but it didn't mean he didn't want to rest. It also served as a good excuse not to talk. Although neither his mother nor Gabriel had yet to bring up his birthday, he feared the conversation would inevitably diverge toward it at one point. He refused to make this day about him in any way, not before Tristan was out of troubled waters. Until then, he'd rather not be reminded that today was the day he was born.